Bursting With Hope, Healing, Happiness............... 3/13/22

     Last Friday, my oldest son got married.  One enormous hallmark for any parent.  It also opened a floodgate of joyful tears. 

     He knows his bride well.  

     It was surreal hearing my son and his fiancé saying their vows. They've grown up together. No, not in the same family but as two who met many years ago.

      It is a life-changing jump from them being boyfriend and girlfriend. 

      Witnessing the exchange of vows was an out-of-body experience. I could not believe I was there; it was happening.  The reception afterward went on for six hours.  

      I knew many attending the happy occasion.  

      Most were friends my son has had since kindergarten.  Close camaraderie pervaded the room.  Everywhere smiles abounded. 

      As I visited, I felt a warm bond with Pablo Jr.'s companions, now adults.  I appreciated the respect they showed one another and me.  Not a profanity uttered on this special night.  An unusual occurrence among a crowd of boisterous adults.  

    The happiness of everyone celebrating this festive union wafted strongly among the many attending.  No one embarrassed him or herself that night, even though champagne flowed. 

    Sitting across from each other at the ban-queting table, my former wife and I had a positive, warm con-versation filled with shared memories of more than 30 years.  I tearfully made amends to her.  I enjoyed doing so.  

        I expressed re-morse for the difficulties I caused her.

       When making amends, we focus on our misdeeds.  Even if we think we created only 5% of the problem.  We make things right for our part.

       We don't worry if the person is 95% the fault maker.  We do not in-sist on them making amends to us.  Their contribution to our difficul-ties is not the issue when taking this step.  

    The focus is on what we did wrong.  Often, in truth, 50% or more of the difficulties were our doing.  We don't know it because of our bi-ased opinion. 

     "Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? " I asked my former wife. "What can I do to make things right?"  With a loving, gentle smile, my ex-wife replied, "I forgive you.  You don't have to do anything."

     This moment took place at the ban-quet table.  My sons, including the groom, took in what transpired.  The newly married son had come over to tell me I needed to give the toast.

     What a fantastic time of healing that took place on this special night. 

     A special appearance that evening was a nurturing cloud from God. He used amends to restore the years that the locust of negativity and divorce had eaten into our family.  This crop of healing brought with it hope and happiness we had not known in years. 

**** 

     On the following Thursday, another high point surfaced. I spent four hours with my second son.  

     It's been a while since we've been together. Spending time with family is a higher priority than working. I canceled two appointments that day, making room for us to get together. 

     Jobs and friends may come and go, but family is forever.  When I die, I'm not saying, "I wished I worked more." 

     In my sports car, we coursed through twisty parts of Page Mill Road in Palo Alto, moving up-ward towards Skyline Blvd.  He detailed his hard work over the past six months as we climbed.  I had no clue; he had not said a word.

    Since December, he worked two jobs until recently.  A father could not be prouder of a son's diligent labor. 

    Seeing his joyful smile as we shared lunch at Alice's Restaurant intoxicated my sentimental soul.  Connecting with him two days ago became the second most significant high point this year, second only to seeing my eldest son's wedding. 

    While with my middle son, I soaked in every second of our time, taking in every morsel of our conver-sation like a beggar who had not adequately eaten in months.  I acted as if I might never see him again.  We are never guaranteed tomorrow. 

****

    I bet you didn't know it. 

   Today is a big day around here.  This inn turns eleven today.  How does that grab you? 

   Thank you for stopping by, and celebrating this special anniversary with the innkeeper.  It is hard to imagine it's been more than a decade since this inn opened its doors.  I thank this positive place in cyberspace is thriving in its preadolescent age. 

    This place started as a place to document our gratitude.  

      Below is my list of thanks on the 11th anniver-sary of this inn of gratitude: 

1.  Last week, my oldest son got married.  The wedding and celebration with his many friends had a fountain of joyful tears flowing from me.  I did not lose a son. 

     I gained a daughter-in-love.  I said so when I gave the toast. 

2.  Great health.  I came thisclose to dying last July 10th when I flew off a cliff in my car.  A friend drove when that happened.  I had a bout with heat exhaustion on that 120-degree day.

      I'm still ticking.  I remain deeply grateful for each day I have on earth. It is better than the alternative. 

     Tomorrow is not promised to anyone. 

3. I value terrific friends.  They provide the support, connection, fun, and love I need, especially during challenging times.

4. A life filled with joy and thank-fulness.  It isn't that happy people are thankful.  It's that grateful people are happy.  
     It is better to light the candle of a positive thought within our mind than to curse the darkness of our difficulties. 

5. For each of you who visit.  It makes what I do here worthwhile. 

6. Having many reasons to celebrate each day, week, month, and year. 

7. This place has had more than a million visits in the past tenth year. 

What I Learned This Year:

    Keep on keeping on.  Though the pandemic continues, life as we know it is improving incrementally. Masks are not required at indoor events for those vaccinated. 

    We can meet with small bands of friends. I even had a class with 80% of those attending doing so in person. 

   Life is returning to a semblance of normality.  Progress, not perfec-tion, is better than no progress at all.