Friday, February 6

A Phrase That Helps Us Get Real With Others....... 2/6/15

     It is easy, our mind shooting off in different directions, being captive to our thoughts, out of touch with the emotions coursing through us.  Applying the sentence above helps us remain
present, in touch with our feelings, spirit and soul.  We take ownership for our judg-ments, expressing them.  Uttering this phrase, we admit our projections, "...I imagine."  We aren't declaring the other individual is a certain way, we
simply state our perceptions, our response to them.  We can be all wet, too, we realize.

       We allow others to pass through the door of our facades, when using this phrase---revealing our reaction to the other person, letting him or her to see the authentic core of who we are, with discretion, of course.

       Scarey, it can be.  Discretion makes it not so frightful, especially when we applying healthy boundaries.

       We are being real, giving feedback.  We are relating at the feeling level.  When we do, bonding can happen, not guaranteed.  But more likely.  It is the bane of our society that most of us are trapped within our heads.

       Scarey and unfulfilling, too.

       Insight, using our head doesn't change behavior.  Action does.  Acceptance with practical action steps---including being transparent---and acceptance about what is percolating within our soul provides healing and the intimacy we seek.

      It can become a brave new world, talking with sincerity and vulnerability. When we do, we let others know what is alive within us, while with them.  Try it.  You may find yourself bonding with him or her.  If that does not
happen, at least you are letting them know the real you and the impact they are having upon you, be it for good or ill.

1.  I get to sleep in tomorrow.      I am wiped out by the intense week I had.
2.  I will view a movie tomorrow. I have missed seeing two nights in a row. Third time is the charm.
3.  Great conversation with a friend. I love it when I can talk in my native left-handed way.
4.  Rain in the Bay Area. We need it desperately.
5.  I love serving others and them appreciating what I do.  One client told me today that he prays, thanking God for me.  That's humbling.  It motivates me to want to do my best, giving my all---within reason.
6.  For simple tools, like the today's phrase.  It would be great if schools taught this stuff.  They don't.

How About You? 
What are you doing to better connect with others?


Superman said...

Dear Innkeeper,

I am grateful for

1. My wife, whose simple, silent presence, teaches me and humbles me.

2. My family. Three sensitive, intelligent boys who love to laugh, play, read, and have wonderful conversations.

3. Another day. Excited to see what will happen today.

4. A wonderful phrase that helps this feeling person do what God wants me to do, feel!

5. For having just enough interactions with others, which kept me going through this long and trying week of work.

6. The grace of music. Playing my guitar and singing four songs that actually pinpoint things that I'm going through. Great joy. Thanks to the beloved.

7. A fulfilling session with a wonderful counselor and friend.

Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Dear Innkeeper, I had a ' meltdown ' at work this week with my manager. I became a 'raging bull'!Yes,me...quiet, reserved,polite me!I dumped, I raged and I vented, without restraint... I wouldn't stop.Then I stormed out... Now i have to reap what I have sown. I'm so glad to be able to come to the inn and read this post. I feel as if it was written just for me. I'm grateful for all the words written here in your post. I have so much to learn... and I'm very happy to find hope here at the inn... Thank-you.

Jane G. Yorkshire

Superman said...

Dear Innkeeper,
Thank you so much for your revision of this post. I had a most dutiful Saturday of chores, not good for a feeler like myself. It taps into old conditioning of being the oldest placating mommy and daddy because I was never taught how to be internally-referented. I needed a refresher on this phrase. Thank you so much!

Clark Kent

Thumper said...

Dear Pablo,

I am learning how to be authentic. What a huge endeavor and lesson for me each and every time I show a glimpse of my true self to another! I really love the phrase, "When you say that imagine..." I cannot wait to try it out. Transparency is a little scary for me but I know that it brings connection and healing that is much needed. Thank you once again for your wisdom.

Pablo said...

Dear Superman,

You made a happy innkeeper. Thank you, for sharing seven gratitudes! Wow. I enjoy the attitude you share in your comment.

I'm glad you like the phrase I share in this post. It works. It helps us connect at the feeling level, keeping us present.

I wish you success in all you do. My hope is that you will help others enjoy the deep riches music offers.

What do you like best about your time with your counselor? You have my curiosity. What need of yours does he meet? I am glad your time with this person is rich for you.

Wishing you a terrific week!

Pablo said...

Dear Jane,
Thank you, for your transparency, I enjoy the gift of authenticity you offer in your comment. How were you bullish? What needs of yours were not met, that caused your outburst? What do you think you need to stop doing, that will help you keep your calm and equanimity? And, what do you need to start doing?

I am glad you find hope, here. In what way do you encounter it, here?

You have my prayers,
The Innkeeper

Thank you, for your kind words.

Pablo said...

Dear Thumper,

Have you tried out this phrase, yet? What do you find to be the scariest part about being authentic? (You mention it is a huge endeavor.)

It is only through discomfort that we draw closer to others. Evading and being indirect in our communication doesn't let us know others well, nor them, about us.

Thank you, for dropping by. Sorry for this tardy reply. This know, every comment written here I respond to, sooner or later. I want to be more prompt in my replies.

Wishing you a great week,
The Innkeeper

Pablo said...

Dear Superman,

What a surprise, a second comment on this post!

How can you nurture yourself, when you need to do tasks? Resistance is futile. (I am a fan of Star Trek Next Generation, after all.) We do have to do chores.

Perhaps you can reward yourself with some "me" time, playing your guitar or riding your bike, or something else you enjoy doing?

Your appreciation motivates me. Thank you. It makes what I do here worthwhile.

Looking forward to your next visit,
The Innkeeper

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.