Wednesday, February 25

No Gratitudes Tonight: A Love of My Life Died

The cutest and most adorable female I have ever known. 
     Three times I've cried today.  Precious died.  The sweetest cat I ever made the acquaintance, she was.  As she lay dying Monday night, she was tender,
lovable, basking in the affection I had for her.  Incredible feline, with gorgeous round, blue eyes.

      Before Monday, she traipsed behind me, wherever I went.  Quietly persistent about getting affection, of which I fed her plenty. She slurped and pulled hair from her chest like cotton candy, consuming it with the same relish kids have for the actual puffy-haired usually pinkish treat.

     She intruded herself into sessions I had with clients.  They loved her nonetheless.  He Tribble-like body, adding a homeyness to the occasion.

     I didn't catch what was happening, realize her death was imminent.  The past few weeks she spent more time in the garage, wanting to be alone.  God, I wish I knew that Death was gathering all of her seven lives.

     One of my last events with her was while lounging on the couch.  She jumped up, pressing her butt against my right thigh, blissfully napping.  I tossed her off the couch when I got up.  How I regret that.  But, I didn't know.

     Within a month of our relationship, she was trained, coming at my call.  Femininely she would place one foot in front of the other, slowly approaching me.  I have a signal I use with my hand.  When she saw it, she'd get up from her perch, standing by my side, without fail.

     Someone came, snatching her, rushing her to the vet, Monday night.  Late into the night I got no word, my heart stranded into the land of confusing and despair.  I texted the person who took her to the pet hospital at 11:08 p.m., that night, 1:34 Tuesday afternoon and 9:59 p.m., later that day  What was her status?  Was she gone or was she convalescing?  I anticipated the worst, but hoped for the best.

     This individual didn't reply until 2:37 a.m. on Wednesday, while I slept.  His behavior further confirming he is not anyone I want to relate with.  How insensitive, keeping me in the lurch,  knowing how much I dearly loved her.  I had no chance to say good bye.

      But in the living room of my mind there she dwells, in all her sneezing, slurping, snorting glory. And I miss her.  You know how I feel, bereft of her presence.  Sorrow pierces me. My eyes are teary as I write this.  My mind is numb.  No traces of my usual smile shape my lips.  I am depressed.

     I have to bed down, get ready for a busy day tomorrow. I meet with a new client, first thing in the morning.  Pray for me.  I am not the innkeeper I usually am.  My place is not quite the home it was, when Precious once shared it with me.

     No gratitudes tonight. There's a time to laugh and there's a time to mourn.

     Mourning is good.  It means I am allowing my heart to feel deeply the loss I am experiencing right now.  I'll talk with you tomorrow. 


Syd said...

I am sorry to hear about Precious. I understand your love for an animal. My condolences on your loss.

Anonymous said...

Dear Innkeeper,

I'm sad to hear about Precious. I'm grateful to you for sharing your story of her. I like how you express your affection for her when you said "But in the living room of my mind there she dwells, in all her sneezing, slurping, snorting glory." I know this to be true because I have had the pleasure of meeting Precious myself. She is exactly as you describe her. I cannot believe I will not see her again. Thank you once again for bravely sharing your feelings and memories of Precious..."The most adorable female you have ever known."

Jane G. Yorkshire

Paper Tango said...

Hola Pablo. Lo siento mucho por la muerta de Precious. Elle estava tan original. I will think of you these days and send you lots of love and support. She was so special.

Thumper said...

Dear Pablo,

I am so incredibly sad to hear of your loss. I can relate to your sadness as I, too lost a beloved cat with whom I loved for 16 years. Pets are such a significant part of of one's family, to me an actual family member. I remember Precious as being a sweet, loving and endearing kitty whom I will miss very much. I looked forward to seeing her each time I visited. She was a special cat!
My thoughts are with you at this sad time, Pablo. Take care.

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.