Thursday, February 26

State of the Innkeeper Report 2/26/15

     Full day.  Beat.  Physically and emotionally. Two thousand, eight hundred and twenty of you have passed through the doors of  this inn today.

     That's not why I am exhausted.  I am carrying in my body the loss of

Precious.  It happened in one night, this past Monday. Further depleting me was seeing a new client, having a teleclass that included people from around the world and being with my most difficult client, along with two others, for a total of four.

     Thank you, for your support, regarding the death of a beloved pet. It means much, more than you can imagine.  Many have contacted me personally and Syd has via comments.  It's good not being along when sucker punched by such an abrupt change.   I am encouraged and fortified by your support.  I am happy, knowing so many care.

     The steamroller of circumstances has me spent, wiped out---all my energy is gone.  I am learning to get in touch with my feelings, more than I already do.  So bear with me as I use you as my therapist.  Here is my emotional state for tonight:

1.  I am in a fog.  My mind can barely function.  I get to invest in me by sleeping in Friday.  Ya ay!
2.  I am sad, angry, enraged, resentful.  When someone took Precious to the vet hospital, he didn't tell me they were putting her down. (That's my assumption what they did.)   I would wanted to be with her, comforting her, be there, when she departed this world.  I angry I was cheated of having closure in my relationship with her.

      I was not given that option. making me unhappy and frustrated. I was left hanging for three days by this same person.  The lack of communication upset me.
3.  I am being gentle towards myself, taking care of me. I am eating nutritiously,  getting extra sleep, talking with my community of friends---emptying out the whirlwind of emotions that are swirling within me.

     That's it for tonight.  I am tired, heading for bed. Please let me hear from you. Now, more than normal, I'd value the community we share here.


Paper Tango said...

Hang in there, Pablo! I read your post about Alexander the Grey...seems you have a way with cats. Sending you compassion as you grieve poor Precious' death.

Superman said...

Dear Pablo,
Thinking of you during your mourning of Precious. She was a very sweet cat. I remember you recounting the first time you met her. She was in bad shape, but because of your amazing tlc, she was able
to trust you and experience unconditional love. I believe you were God's gift to her. After her long stretch of isolation and neglect, God's benevolent grace gifted her with a wonderful human being.
I always enjoyed reading your blog posts about Precious. I reread "Lessons Learned From a Sassy Female" from November of last year. The part that stuck out the most for me was your learning on how to be patient with her, learning her rhythms. It reminded me of a wonderful poem from a book called Quiet Water. There is a poem called "Walk Easy on Earth." One stanza reads:
Walk easy on the earth
Love is waiting to reveal itself when it is time,
Nor can one create it despite the most noble intent.
Love is the discovery of one's own rhythm in another.
Any other love, regardless of time or commitment,
will only be doomed and painful.

This above all. Walk easy on the earth!

-James Kavanaugh

The love that was shared in those quiet moments with Precious were very special. I will cherish her deep sense and feeling comfortable around us as we spoke. I will miss her snorts and slurps during our sessions. God bless you, Pablo.

Thumper said...

Hello Pablo,

You and Precious are in my thoughts as I go about my day. Nothing can replace the love, companionship and loyalty of a pet. I remember how devastated I was when my 16 year old cat, Chloe passed away. Her last few days were spent on the fluffy bathroom rug in my bathroom. She was very sick so I let her stay there where she was most comfortable and comforted. She was a gorgeous, water loving Siamese, always trying to jump in the bathtub when I was taking a bubble bath.
I remember the way Precious would snort and gurgle as you and I had our conversations. She made us both laugh and added much delight and humor during our visits. You were so very good to her, lovingly purchasing a brush to get all of her tangles and snarls out of her long, thick coat of hair. She followed you around just as a dog would and amazingly came when you called her. Not many cats do that. She trusted and loved you. She was lucky to have you and vice versa.
Again, my heart goes out to you. Stay well.

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From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

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"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.