Tuesday, June 2

Experiencing "What Is" Helps Us Feel Safe (One of my all-time favorite posts) 6/2/15

    What a ride down a waterfall it has been, the past few weeks.

     I love that I hold every-thing with an open hand.  It's exciting, resting in God's will, not mine.  It is wonderful knowing a strength and peace that transcends my circum-stances.

     There's so much I still need to learn. Interpreta-tion isn't reality.  I know that.

       Most those I relate with don't.  I suffer as a result.  Interpreting is a result of our mind, not necessarily the facts. When we judge---based upon our imaginings---we are being

    It's easy jumping to conclusions, in-terpreting the mean-ing of another's comments or ac-tions.  Frequently, we translate events or what another says in terms of what has happened to us in the past or could happen in the future. We lose touch with the present, doing that.

        It is best noticing the anger, fear, hurt, whatever is boiling under-neath our interpretation or judgment.

        Then dig beneath, discovering what they are about.  Many times, we learn we are reacting to our interpretations rather than to what is happening. Or they are produced by haunting specters of painful moments of the past or anticipated catastrophes.

        I am not interested in convincing anyone if they are stuck with stories firmly established by assumptions, not fact.

       When a reaction surfaces, it is usually us being sensitive to impressions con-firming our worst fears. Unfortunately, these buttons  that trigger us prevent us from seeing reality.  It is best, when this happens, is men-tioning what we are experiencing and what we want instead of allowing our feel-ings to be unnamed.

     It's important not being defined by other people's imaginings of us. Whether it be it our motivations or their assessment of our character.  It takes discipline, letting people think what they think.

      Even if their impressions distorts the truth of who we are.  When we express ourselves openly, there is the risk being misun-derstood.

      Our self-worth does not have to diminish when that occurs.
 "When the applause of others becomes the reason for my behavior  and ne-cessary for me to feel satisfied, then I have given them power over me."                               Courage to Change, p 9. 
        Sometimes we are the culprit, with an active imagination.  In that case, it is better expressing what is racing through our minds, when triggered.  We want to see our assumptions for what they are: not reality.

        Revealing our imaginings helps us stop projecting them on others, reducing the likelihood of us getting triggered.  Noticing what is, including our reactions, helps hold the image of ourselves more lightly.  We become free from the tyrant of our active insecurities and often untrue imaginings.

        We want to mindful we are more than how we perceive ourselves or how others consider us.  There is much missing, our perspective and that of others is limited.  It is easy to be harsh towards ourselves or accept the harsh criticism from others as truth.

        That is rubbish. This is where being internally referented is critical.  Imaginings help us feel in control, that we know what is happening. They support the illusion we know what's going on.

         Usually, we don't, really.  Again, living this way prevents us from experiencing what is.  Frequently, false beliefs and scars rattle within our minds, hindering us from seeing reality.

         We can slow down our reactions if we identify the buttons and false beliefs that irk us.  When we see they cloud our vision, we uncover what is really going on.  Our mind chatter is our brain's attempt at protecting us.

        This is its effort at avoiding anxiety, the helplessness of not know-ing or not being in control.  Yet our real self doesn't need protecting or defending.  It simply needs to be experienced.

         When that happens we have a better taste of what is true, real.  Life becomes less reactive, more satisfying because we taste reality as it truly is.  We are comfortable with emotional discomfort.

         We can sit with it.  Along with this strength comes a big minus.  Emotional fragility departs from of our character.

         Resiliency replaces it.  Being present gives us inner strength.  We are less susceptible to fear and our often wild imaginings.  We no long-er freeze when encountering conflict.

         We now face our fears instead of fleeing from them.  We experi-ence---taste---reality with courage.  This is the result of not allowing our imaginations to rule over us.

         Instead, we stare into reality, working on our weaknesses until they become our strengths.

How About You?
 What are your gratitudes for today? 


Anonymous said...

Hello dear Innkeeper,

I'm grateful for:

1. This article. I'm learning a lot about being controlling,having projections,imaginings and interpretations.
2. My doctor, my dentist,my physical therapist.and my optician. I've seen them all over the past few weeks. I'm getting all fixed up...feels great!
3.For friends , birthdays,fellowship,laughter and music.

Jane G. Yorkshire


This topic is such an important chapter of our self-improvement, connected to the very roots of our perception of life and relationships. What we think is true is often a result of the scales on our eyes: the past emotional traumas or desire to control the situation by interpreting it.

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.