Experiencing "What Is" Helps Us Feel Safe......................... 6/2/15

    What a ride down a waterfall it has been the past few weeks.

     I love we can hold ev-erything with an open hand, resting in God's will, not ours.  It becomes terrific knowing strength and peace that transcends difficult circumstances.

     There's so much we still need to learn. With recovery, we discover our interpretation of events and others usually does not reflect reality.

       Most don't know this fact, and others will jump to conclusions about us and our motives.  Inter-preting, a product of an active mind, not neces-sarily the facts.

        When we judge---based upon our imaginings---we exhibit a con-trolling nature.

       A common habit, jumping to conclusions, in-terpreting the meaning of an-other's comments or actions.  We translate events in terms of what hap-pened in the past or what could happen in the future.  We want to be present, instead.

        Good practice develops when we notice the anger, fear, hurt boiling underneath our interpretations or judgments.

        Then dig, dis-covering the needs that prompt them.  Often, we are reacting to our interpretations, not the actual events.  Our imagination con-jures haunting specters born from painful memories or anticipated catastrophes.

       We waste time convincing anyone they live with stories firmly established by assumptions, not fact.  They are convinced they are correct, and to think otherwise upends their whole concept of reality. 

       When a reaction surfaces, it may be us succumbing to our worst fears.  Unfor-tunately, these trig-gering buttons pre-vent us from seeing reality.  We improve our relationships when we say what we are feeling.  Being in touch with our emotions and expressing them creates authenticity when connecting with others. 

     Growth takes place when we do not let the imaginings of others define us.  It takes discipline, letting people think what they think.

      Even if their impressions are not accurate.  When we express ourselves openly, we risk being misunder-stood, our self-worth does not need to plummet when that happens.

 "When the applause of others be-comes the reason for my behavior and necessary for me to feel satis-fied, then I have given them power over me."    Courage to Change, p 9. 

         The culprit with the active imagination can be us.  Pre-ferred relating involves expressing the content of our triggered minds.  Our emotions improve when we start seeing our assump-tions as not accurate. 

 

      Revealing our imaginings to others helps.  It lets us stop projecting them on others, reducing the likelihood of getting trig-gered.  Noticing what is, including our reactions, helps hold the image of ourselves lightly.  We become free from the tyrant of our active insecur-ities and untrue imaginings.

        We want to be mindful we are more than how others perceive or consider us.  There is much missing, and our perspective and that of others are limited.  It is easy to be harsh towards ourselves or accept strong criticism from others as truth.

        That is rubbish.  This is where internal referenting is critical.  Imaginings help us feel in control. Our inaccurate perceptions support the illusion that we know what's going on.

         Usually, we don't, really.  Living this way prevents us from experiencing what is.  Frequently, false beliefs and scars rattle within our minds, hindering us from accurately assessing reality.

         We slow down our reactions when we identify the buttons and false beliefs irking us.  When we see their tendency to cloud our vision, we uncover what is really going on.  Our mind chatter is our brain's attempt at protec-ting us.

        This is its effort at avoiding anxiety, the helplessness of not know-ing or not being in control.  Yet, our true self doesn't need protecting or defending.  It simply needs to be experienced.
 

       When that hap-pens, we have a better taste of what is true, real.  Life is less reactive, more satisfying, and we are tasting reality as it truly is.  We ex-perience comfort with emotional dis-comfort.

         We sit with it.  We pause; we clearly see what is happening in the moment.  Demonstrating strength in character comes with a big minus, a good one.

         Our emotional fragility diminishes.  Our emotional strength is enhanced.

       Resiliency replaces our fragili-ty.  We enjoy a greater sense of balance, more effective executive functioning.  We will not be lost when facing a crisis.

         We have calm confidence dur-ing storms.  The more we practice presence, the more it becomes in-ternalized and the easier it is activa-ting it.  The reptilian brain does not run riot as often.

         Life is emotionally richer as we gain an inner strength we never dreamed possible.

          This is the fruit of being present.  We are less susceptible to fear and our wild imaginings.  We are less likely to freeze when encount-ering conflict.

          Having greater EQ, we face fear instead of fleeing from it.  Cour-age born of personal growth and emotional maturity allows us to face fear and thereby master it.

          Placing principles above the vulnerable parts of our personality allows us to experience---taste---reality with courage, confidence. We celebrate life with greater joy and equanimity.   Our wild, active imag-ination no longer rules over us.

           With ongoing practice, responding this way becomes a proced-ural memory---a natural habit, like riding a bike or tying our shoes.

          We face reality, working on our weaknesses until they become our strengths.

How About You?
 What are your gratitudes for today?