Not long ago, someone screeched at me through a letter. Threatening all kinds of evil. Yes, at me, the Attitude of Gratitude guy. She was my dragon lady. Writing the word "was," in the previous sentence was a comfort. It relaxes my heart, not seeing her.
What did I do, when reading a letter of hers, dripping with venom? I wrote back, right away, thanking her for the letter. Of course, I would have genuine gratitude. You knew that.
1. That's step number one. Seeing the benefit in whatever predicament we are in. In this case:
a. She provided an occasion for me to express my boundaries.
b. This person allowed me to say what was acceptable and unac-ceptable, in our dealings with each other. She allowed me to self-express.
c. Her comments helped me understand her worldview and values. I told her I was not in agreement with them. I didn't say she was wrong. I disagreed, that's all. What she wrote validated my decision to no longer see her. More about this in point three, below.
d. I appreciated my times with her were ending.
Boring is not boring. It is being normal. If our nor-mality as a child was chaos and drama, get used to calmness.
It is how life is meant to be. It's not good for any heart to be constantly racing, because of tension.
It is not my job, pleasing others. I am not responsible for the feelings of others. That's their property.
It is not my job, pleasing others. I am not responsible for the feelings of others. That's their property.
My feelings are mine. No one can make any of us angry, sad, happy or any other feeling, without us giving them permission to do so.
3. I don't take the behavior or comments of others personally. They reveal the character of the other person. I am internally referented.
3. I don't take the behavior or comments of others personally. They reveal the character of the other person. I am internally referented.
I base my decisions and actions on my values, truth, and beliefs. Those who care for me accept who I am, even if we disagree. My value is not based on the opinion others have of me.
I have worth simply being me.
I enjoy the sim-plicity, serenity and joy I have when I live by healthy principles, not letting others de-fine me or determine my moods.
How About You? Do you let others intimidate you?
How About You? Do you let others intimidate you?
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1 comment:
I don't know. I push back, when I'm intimidated, but being wise at those moments doesn't come naturally yet.
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