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"Amidst the constant turmoil and drama that surrounds us, as we live life, many stop noticing
what is going on with themselves. Something more important and life threatening always seems to intervene. When we acknowledge a situation as it is, we want look at our options instead of looking at the options available to other people." Courage to Change, p.359 Fortunately, I've matured.
What follows reflects personal growth I have gained over the past eleven years. The result of hard work done on my personal
growth and recovery derived from Al-Anon Family Groups.
For years, it was in the all-time most favorite posts section of the sidebar on your right. For guests of this inn who have followed me over the years, it is familiar. I am re-posting it. Three-and-a-half-years ago it was written. The following are general principles from Al-Anon Family Groups. I'm sure they will help when trying to figure out our responsibility in our relationships with others.
Still worth a second look. It's about boundaries, taking care of ourselves. Being intern-ally referented. I violated all these principles, as a child. I was trained to not take care of me.
Denying myself, I was taught, was "being nice". My childhood was miserable. I am happier because I now live by these principles. I hope they will resonate with you, adding more sanity and serenity to your life. Let me know what you think.
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It Is Never My Responsibility To:
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ive what I really don’t want to give
Sacrifice my integrity to anyone
Do more than I have time to do
Drain my strength for others
Listen to unwise counsel
Listen to unwise counsel
Remain in an unfair relationship
Be anyone but exactly who I am
Conform to unreasonable demands
Be 100% perfect
Follow the crowd
Please unpleasant people
Bear the burden of another’s misbehavior
Do something I really cannot do
Endure my own negative thoughts
Feel guilty towards my inner desires
Submit to overbearing conditions
Apologize for being myself
Meekly let life pass me by
Related Post:
Letting Go
How About You?
What needs of yours are met by this post? Please let me know. Your comments add to the community we share here. I'd love hearing from you.
Related Post:
Letting Go
How About You?
What needs of yours are met by this post? Please let me know. Your comments add to the community we share here. I'd love hearing from you.
Posts
1 comment:
Dear Pablo,
I love this list of principles and I have had this list on my wall for two years to remind me how important boundaries are. I read it every morning when I wake up. It has helped me tremendously on my path of growth and recovery. Thank you, Pablo!
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