Tuesday, June 16

Never My Responsibility, Revisited............ 6/16/15

"Amidst the constant turmoil and drama that surrounds us, as we live life, many stop noticing 
what is going on with themselves. Something more important and life threatening always
 seems to intervene. When we  acknowledge a situation as it is, we want look at our options
 instead of looking at the options available to other people."  Courage to Change, p.359

        Fortunately, I've matured. 

        What follows reflects personal growth I have gained over the past eleven years. The result of hard work done on my personal
growth and recovery derived from Al-Anon Family Groups.   

        For years, it was in the all-time most favorite posts section of the sidebar on your right.  For guests of this inn who have followed me over the years, it is familiar.  I am re-posting it.  Three-and-a-half-years ago it was written.  The following are general principles from Al-Anon Family Groups. I'm sure they will help when trying to figure out our responsibility in our relationships with others. 

        Still worth a second look.  It's about boundaries, taking care of ourselves. Being  intern-ally referented.  I violated all these principles, as a child.  I was trained to not take care of me.

        Denying myself, I was taught, was "being nice".  My childhood was miserable.  I am happier because I now live by these principles.  I hope they will resonate with you, adding more sanity and serenity to your life.  Let me know what you think.


It Is Never My Responsibility To: 
ive what I really don’t want to give
Sacrifice my integrity to anyone
Do more than I have time to do
Drain my strength for others
Listen to unwise counsel
Remain in an unfair relationship
Be anyone but exactly who I am
Conform to unreasonable demands
Be 100% perfect
Follow the crowd
Please unpleasant people
             Bear the burden of another’s misbehavior
Do something I really cannot do
Endure my own negative thoughts
Feel guilty towards my inner desires
Submit to overbearing conditions
             Apologize for being myself
Meekly let life pass me by

Related Post: 
Letting Go 
How About You? 
What needs of yours are met by this post? Please let me know.  Your comments add to the community we share here.  I'd love hearing from you. 

1 comment:

Thumper said...

Dear Pablo,

I love this list of principles and I have had this list on my wall for two years to remind me how important boundaries are. I read it every morning when I wake up. It has helped me tremendously on my path of growth and recovery. Thank you, Pablo!

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.