You might want to sit down and get comfortable, perhaps have a cup of coffee. This post is longer than normal. Go get your coffee, I can wait.
Before a group of people at Summit Hospital in Oakland, CA, I spoke; amidst all the tasks I've been juggling lately, I forgot this commitment. Only because the person driving me there, reached me on the phone earlier in the day, did I make it. When episodes like this happen, I realize my life has become unmanageable. Slowing down, is in order.
Public speaking is something I routinely do, along with research. Tonight, I pulled out my latest notes on stuff I've been studying.
I was ready for the evening. For me, talking before others is enjoyable. Many people, I'm aware, fear it more than death. For me, it's like dating; if I'm nervous, I make the woman nervous; but if I'm relaxed, my date is fine.
This evening, the subject was one I enjoy: having a spiritual awakening. Tonight's audience responded well to the subject. I had fun.
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The fifth grade was when I found out I had a knack for public speaking. There was an opening for school secretary. I ran for the position. When I finished my first-ever speech, microphone and all, during a school assembly, the students stood up and applauded. They didn't do that for anyone else. That was the dawning of my awareness that public speaking and I might have a long-term relationship.
It's fun and maddening, giving talks. Like doing the rehearsal for a wedding, they remind me. Many things need arranging. But giving a talk, has it's celebrative aspect, also. When preparing for a talk, I wonder how it will work out. Weddings usually turn out fine, and are positive occasions. Often this is the case when I get up before a group of folks and lay out my thoughts before them.
I was in school government in high school, regularly speaking in assemblies. I also taught and oversaw 250 high school-aged kids for a non-profit organization. Since then, I've overseen organizations, often giving talks. Now, it's pretty much the same as then. What I love most is preparing. I like answering questions from the audience; it allows me to share details I normally don't get to mention.
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| No, this isn't a picture of me |
Orchestrating different parts of me as I prepare a talk is fun. My studious self, the organizational side to me, that arranges my ideas, and my social self get all rolled into one, as I address a subject. My tongue becomes a paintbrush, my words the paint that portrays my thoughts.
Now, you know a bit more about me and my work. I can be a bit passionate about it, can you tell? :->. I'm thankful I'm following my calling. I glad I help others become who they want to be. I'm energized when I see others more hopeful and invigorated, because of my work.
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My gratitudes for Tuesday:
1. I'm glad I kept my commitment for this evening. I like being reliable.
2. I appreciate that I "Let Go and Let God," when I faced a challenge: needing to give a talk without much time for preparation. I did what I could and left the results to God.
3. I'm touched that I was able to help meet the needs of those who attended. I am thankful for their response. It makes what I do worthwhile.
4. I'm relieved that I was gentle towards myself, this evening. When I realized my oversight, I did what was necessary to meet the need of the hour. No self condemnation was necessary, nor would it have helped.
5. I'm grateful I was calm in the midst of tonight's situational storm. I was present, I didn't catastrophize; I did what was necessary to meet the needs of the evening.
6. I value the kindness I experience from those who love me. As a result, I was gentle towards myself, when I realized I forgot about this evening's speaking engagement.
7. I'm moved knowing I'm not what I do or don't do. I'm loved simply because I'm valued by God and others.
8. I'm inspired that my image of the ideal self includes grace. My ideal self no longer is a stern task master that condemns my faults. My ideal self is able to pat my chest and say, "that's okay, you're doing fine today."
9. I'm glad to know that when I see a weakness it is a cause for celebration.
Before, when younger, if I failed or made a mistake, I would kick myself. Now, when I see an area where I can grow, I rejoice. It reveals I'm getting healthier. I'm able to see something that I was unable to see before I made the mistake. That's always a good thing.
10. I look forward to the terrific night of sleep I'll get after I finish this post. Nothing beats the sleep that follows a good day of labor.
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My dear Silent Reader friends, you know the routine. Would it be possible for you to share your gratitudes? We've had more than 3,000 visitors to this inn in the time this place has been open. We haven't received 6,000 gratitudes in that time. You know I ask if you can share three, when you drop by. Go ahead, please give it a try. Thanks. For those who might be timid, I'll give you a deal. Just share one gratitude. It'll stretch your gratitude muscles. Thanks!
Have a great and grateful Thursday,
The Innkeeper
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