Responding Not Reacting, Part II ( An Opportunity for Growth, Spiritual Weightlifting) ...................5/30/11

Emotionally Charged Conversations

       When disagree-ing with someone, awareness that we have limited knowl-edge, helps.

       We don't know what's right in every situation.  During such times, the acronym THINK helps.  We want to ask, "Are my comments and behavior Thoughtful, Honest, Intelligent, Necessary and Kind?"

       In the heat of an emotionally charged conversation, it easy letting it rip.  We may use the ice pick of hateful, harmful words, digging at the vulnerabilities of others.  We develop a problem with this approach--- we can't take back the harm, even after apolo-gizing.

       The damage has been laid.

        For years, if not decades, comments said in a moment of haste can continue to strike their mark, crippling not only the intended victim but the relationship. Talking mali-ciously has no upside.  A preferred approach requi-res responding, not reacting to the negativity encountered.

        Fortunately, difficult, emotionally-laden moments rarely reveal themselves.

        When invested in an outcome, we may not hear what another who disagrees with us says.  If lacking an open mind, we may not pay atten-tion to anything impeding our agenda.  Not a good idea.

        We can always grow and learn.

        Being open and courteous provides a better response.  Also, when in conflict, it helps knowing empathy does not mean agreement.  We simply show that we want to connect to the cares and needs of another.
     

        Although we don't have to take abuse, we want to make sure we don't dish it out, either.  Cold, snide com-ments, sarcasm (which means to peel away flesh, in Latin). and shaming others doesn't serve any-one.  None of us like being shamed.

        We show respect involves listening to them, being receptive and kind, even to those who oppose us.  This demonstrates keeping an open mind.  The highest form of wisdom requires kindness.

       Unkindness, while listening to someone who upsets us, serves no one.  Anger doesn't meet our need for serenity.  There's no need for the corrosive power of bitterness upon our souls.

       Affirmation and empathy allow bonding to take place. These qualities bridge the gap between the strength of our personal healthy principles and help us move beyond the negative family legacies in which we experienced while growing up.

        As a child, I didn't have a voice.  Back then, children were to be seen, not heard. My feelings as a child were irrelevant if they differed from adult authority figures.

       Now, I express my voice.

       Important also involves hearing others. When respect-ful of the viewpoints of others, we often will be heard----we just may not get our way.  But there's something valuable about this process.

      We're showing dignity to our fellowmen.   We're making the world a bit better, one relationship at a time.  We can know the vastness of our feelings without being controlled by them. 

       Fearful control of others becomes replaced by faith in healthier, life-affirming principles, like THINK.

My Gratitudes: 

1. I invest in myself when bonding with friends who have common sense,compassion and wisdom.
2. I'm thankful for slowing down and absorbing what life offers.
3. I'm look forward to the rest of this year. I can't wait to see how God wants to use it for my healing, growth, abundance and happiness.

How About You? 
      Would it be possible, hearing your gratitudes? I enjoy the community, fellowship and connection we share when you do.