Silencing Critical Dragons: Being Gentle Towards Self ..............................5/17/12

"If you use disappointments as sort of mid-semester exams, for learning, you will
 learn that every disappointment you overcome makes you stronger, and wiser."
And you will learn the value of taking care of yourself by being gentle and loving
towards yourself as you go through processing the difficult time, I might add. 

      Good evening,

Did you miss me? I was gone for
a day from the inn. I did not post Wednesday at my usual time.  That day, I rode twenty-two miles on my bicycle, enjoying every second of it.

     It took me one hour and forty minutes.  A little more than thirteen miles per hour, not entirely on asphalt roads, mind you. The wind blew straight into my face for nine miles of my journey.

     But it was good, invigorating, slow-down-the-pace-of-your-life gusts of wind. Exerting myself while being a kite to the 15 mile per hour winds are becoming a spiritual practice. I open myself, allowing the wind to blow through me, clearing out my stress and worries.

     I cut the ride short because I had an impromptu, unscheduled appointment with a client, then met with someone I sponsor, joined friends in the evening and later hung out with five people at a restaurant until 11: 15 p.m.

     Once home, I rested on my bed, "just for a moment," I said. Before I knew it, at 5:30 a.m. this morning, I awoke; my laptop snuggling next to me, keeping me warm.  :)  (Hey, at least, it and I won't get a divorce.)

     Good for me, I yielded to my body's exhaustion, though not consciously.  Exercising is tuckering me out. But that's okay. I'm getting fitter and it's a great antidote for stress.

     Tomorrow, I hope to ride twenty-five to thirty miles. Today, I rode ten. You know, this biking thing is almost getting addictive.
My Gratitudes for Thursday:
1. I appreciate guests dropping by. I'm especially thankful for those who kept the doors to this inn open with your comments, today, while the innkeeper played hooky.
I'm Becoming Like the Jolly Green Giant
I'm Getting Green
       I've started going grocery shopping, using my bike. It's a bit of a challenge since I don't have a basket on my bike and I don't use a backpack. I'm able to carry two bags of food at a time. I've only dropped a carton of eggs once, the first time I tried this adventure. (Nope, they didn't break, lucky me.)
Had An Accident of the Food Kind
      Coming home from the store today, one bag tore, spilling its contents, on Otis Street, a major thoroughfare in Alameda.  I took a breath, locked my bike to a signal light post, walked back a couple blocks back to the store, carrying the two heavy bags full of groceries. I triple-bagged my food, walked back to my bike and was on my way home again.
Being Gentle Towards Myself
      There was no need to mutter about the incident. There was no need to be critical towards myself.  There were no, "how could you be so careless, stupid, or....(you condemningly fill in the blank)???!!!" comments. The spillage had nothing to do with any of those factors.

       I'm happy seeing the automatic gentleness and kindness I have towards myself when this accident occurred.

       Life happens.

Silence of the Critical Dragons
       What my response to today's mishap really told me is that I'm freed from the critical voices that once filled my head. I saw the incident as an opportunity to practice patience. It was a learning opportunity: I'm getting "bike smart."  My life is transforming in good ways. As always, there will be a learning curve when we take on something new.

       I'm becoming more green and I'm getting a workout, to boot. The supermarket is 1.4 miles away. The distances aren't too far as I live on a 3 mile by 6 mile island. (I'm only one mile from the shore.)

2.  I'm thankful for patience towards myself, the silencing of the critical, blaming dragons that live within me and having a happier outlook on life, especially when things turn out wrong.

***********************
3.  I had a delightful conversation on the phone with a friend tonight. I cooked dinner and did the dishes at the same time. I enjoy effectiveness, efficiency, fellowship, connecting with loved ones and nurturing myself. (See how easy it is to find gratitudes?)
4. I'm thrilled that my day has opened up for Friday. I'll pursue business connections, exercising discipline that I don't want to exercise---I'll place principles above the vulnerable parts of my personality, before I go on my long bicycle ride.
5.  I visited with my oldest son this evening. We will play miniature golf next week. Afterwards we'll head over to one of our favorite ice cream parlors, just up the street.  We also made plans to ride bikes together. I'm fixing a flat tire on his bicycle, first. It will  give me practice---I never know when I might need to fix a flat on my bike.
Okay, How About You? 
1. In what way are you seeing that you are more patient and gentle towards yourself? What dragons are being silenced in your life?
2. What learning curve are you on? I mentioned mine above.
3. Since it will be Friday when you read this, what was your low point for this week? And your high point?  My low point, making phone calls I didn't want to make, to build up my business. My high point: making those calls: I transcended my objections and exercised discipline. I had a second high point: my oldest son and I made a date.
        I will reply to all who've commented recently, Friday morning, Left Coast time.