Be Responsive To, But Not Responsible For, The Circumstances of Others, Revisited ..............5/20/12

This lady is not opening her mouth for a dental checkup

         It was a dramatic day.  I avoid them, when possible. An intriguing conversation with someone I almost did business with, took place this afternoon; thank God for intuition---we need to trust it. 

          Glad, I am, that I did.

         A woman pressed upon me----expected me----
to do a favor.  Twice she asked me, to complete a financial transaction.  It would "really help me out," she said. 

        I did not answer immediately. I observed her and paused. That's better than reacting, giving in to her pressure tactics.  What shocked me was that I didn't even know her. 

       The setting off the red lights on my discernment dash-board prompted me to say no.  Each per-son is responsible for their own circum-stances (or feelings).  It's not my job to rescue others, especially when someone uses force, guilt, or shame to motivate me. 

       You know what that's called, right?  Yep, manipulation.

       The problem with strong-arming us against our better judgment is that we are not allowed to make choices.  We are not permitted to be an adult.  Choices are a basic right for adults and are necessary for our relationships with others.  

        Having free will definitely meet our need for autonomy, safety, harmony, and peace of mind and soul.

        For more about that, click here for a great review of what is our responsibility, or rather, what isn't.  I'm not interested in pleasing unpleasant people. I don't have "stupid" or "abuse me" tattooed across my forehead.

         We are not being nice when we give in to such individuals.  We are actually scarring them.  Did you know that?

         We are empowering them to continue is their bullying ways, by letting them manipulate us.  We are also reinforcing their immaturity. 

         Afterward, I met with someone I mentor.  It was a welcome antidote to the unpleasant meeting I had an hour earlier.  That evening, I went to a meeting that is strengthening my business.  A speaker inspired me with ideas that will add greater clarity to my finances and business.
My Gratitudes: 

1. I've learned it's not my respon-sibility to take on other people's problems. We want to be respon-sive to, but not responsible for other people's struggles.

2. I'm thankful for discernment.  It is more likely to happen when I pause instead of reacting to pres-sure.

3. I'm grateful for knowing that we don't need to give away big chunks of ourselves because we seek approval or are fearful of others getting upset.

      Because I am bonded to sup-portive others, detaching from manipulative, angry, shaming, or bullying others is easier to do.  Bonding is necessary before detaching is possible. Without a network of friends, and if I rely only on the demanding person for support, detachment from the emotional bully feels like sawing the branch supporting me.

4. Today, I placed principles and boundaries above intimidating per-sonalities and the once vulnerable parts of my personality.  I'm glad I adhere to my values.  I don't surrender them when rattled.
        Some people become upset when my values do not accommodate theirs. It is their responsibility, not mine, to process their disappoint-ment. For more about this subject please click here.

5. Today, I celebrate that I stood in my power, personal growth, and integrity.

       To read more about winning the Grand Prix of life, click here. You may find the second half of this post helpful in knowing how to respond to a taxing situation.