1. Today, I studied, wrote, prayed and meditated. Ya ay! Investing in
my welfare, sanity, equanimity and personal joy armors me for the challenges I faced this day.
2. Healthy friendships. I'm done with unsatisfying relationships. I'm grateful for character discernment. It helps me ward off lurking emotional vampires, wanting to sink their teeth into the neck of my codependent nature---when I am vulnerable and not exercising boundaries.
Encountering An Emotional Bully
Today, I spoke up when relating with an unpleasant person. If I said nothing, there would be no possibility of things getting better. Saying something provided the possibility that what troubled me may improve. I had no expectations regarding his response. I kept the focus on me, my truth. I've learned expectations are resentments waiting to happen.
When I kindly expressed my concerns, he blew up, an old ruse of his, thinking it would make me off balanced, in our conversation. His emotional hand grenade was a dud. I told him his reaction was interesting and we would talk when our conversation had the dignity it deserved. I let him know I still would not tolerate what troubled me about him. I let him know he could glare if he wanted, but that wouldn't budge me from my boundaries.
Boundaries detach me from emotionally toxic people. After this conversation, I moved on with my day, not mired by his anger, maintaining my sanity and serenity. I am responsive to but not responsible for the feelings of others. I do not submit to overbearing conditions, nor apologize for being myself, nor meekly let life pass me by.
3. Following up my previous post, "Hope For the Past," I'm happy that I am gentler towards myself when my vulnerabilities appear. This is a form of loving who I am, characterological warts and all.
How About You?
As you know, I ask if you could share at least three gratitudes you have for this day. I'd love hearing them. Thanks!
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6 comments:
I won't write about this over on my blog because it's too personal but I will share it here at the Inn - I am very thankful for an amazing date that I had last night. One of those dates that happen but once or twice per lifetime. I am also thankful for amazing coworkers and for Christmas music :)
Hi there!
I am grateful for the game "Clue." I am learning to have fun again.
I am grateful for the ability to help others now.
I am grateful that I can walk.
I am grateful that my children are healthy.
Thank you for your article. You behaved like a very healthy person!!
Keith,
Your secret is safely kept here. I'm happy for you! May I ask, what did you like best about your date, what needs of yours were met?
You are very fortunate to work in a happy environment. Knowing you, I'm sure you contribute to the good will everyone in your office shares.
I'm in agreement with you---I LOVE Christmas music, too!
Have a terrific Thursday, and thanks for the community you provide with your comments.
Blessings to you!
Dear Catherine,
Kudos to you---you're having fun! You probably feel good, when you see others benefitting from your helpful efforts.
Boy, we take things for granted, don't we? Walking! I haven't thought of that as a gratitude in a couple of years. Thanks for the reminder.
Catherine, you almost make me blush with your compliments. Thank you. :-)
Good seeing you, thank you for dropping by! Hope to see you again, soon.
Dear Innkeeper,
It takes great personal discipline, presence of mind, and patience to respond the way you did. We can all learn much from your story.
Today,I am grateful for;
1. Our #2 sons progressive ascension from depression; ability to smile and laugh again, to socialize with his buddies, work and rebuild his life, one day at at time.
2. Forgiving myself for minor mistakes at work that "will pass..." Also learning not to read into the usually harmless, yet perpetual communication "vacuums" with my Japanese colleagues.
3. Being able to laugh at these, while remembering Bill Murray in "Lost in Translation," which is kind of like me at work!
4. Being a hopeless romantic and smiling from ear to ear, while blasting Lionel Richie's first two solo albums (1982/83)in the car on the long drive home from the waning, burnt autumn and yellow "vineyards of the Lord" in Sonoma and Napa counties. Some of you American "Boomers" might remember his "Round and Round," "You Are..." and other oldies but goodies!
5. Time to reflect on the day and our family in prayer with my wife before retiring...
Dear Carl,
Thank you for your support, it means a lot to me. That's great that your son is socializing---a good antidote for depression.
Regarding your time at work, good for you, you are resisting being externally referented! As you've shared in this inn, we block our well being every time we base our worth on what we do or what other people think of us.
It's so good that you are able to connect spiritually with your wife. I bet she loves it.
Wishing you a special Thanksgiving week!
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