Banana Pancakes: An Opportunity to Transcend Unhealthy Legacies

      Good afternoon, everyone.

A happy new week to each of you.  I'm happy to announce this inn is
improving. We have another person on staff. He has contributed so
much here that I asked if he would like to be an assistant innkeeper. To my delight, he answered yes!

     You know him.  He's Carl.  He posts regularly. The following is his first stint as guest blogger.   Please welcome our new assistant innkeeper!

Here's Carl's post, enjoy! 

“…Wakin' up too early.  
Maybe we could sleep in
I'll make you banana pancakes. 
 Pretend like it's the weekend now.”

Banana Pancakes by Jack Johnson 

      With Thanksgiving on the horizon, and my 88 year old Mom coming as guest of honor, my wife and I decided to plan our annual deep house cleaning adventure.  The help of our three resident adult sons, and their two buddies, who are tenants as well was enlisted.

      Their realm of chores include the downstairs family/TV room; the “man-cave” sanctuary of our home, their bathroom and the bedrooms where they dwell.

The first floor sweeping, mopping and dusting my wife does.  Cleaning the kitchen, and the perpetually gunky and greasy gas range stove top fell to me.  This is the one thankless chore no one ever wants to do, so Dad volunteers; plus I’m good at it!

      After slaving away on the now pristine stovetop, I put a (usually ineffective, come to think of it…) hand-written sign there in a clean frying pan the night before.  It read, “Please don’t fry food here tomorrow morning.”  In retrospect, this was probably not a realistic boundary, nor was “fry” specific enough.

      Our #3 son, known to elevate petulance to an art-form, came in the next morning.  My note he dismissed. He started whipping up ingredients for banana pancakes. Little did I know these were not only for himself, but for his brothers and family as well.

       I came in, saw this, was disturbed and poised to react.   I asked,  “have you seen my sign?” He remarked, “are you serious?” 

       I wasn't sure if I was experiencing his arrogant defiance.  “Yes I am,” I replied, and proceeded to chasten him with, “we have company coming and want to keep this stove clean in advance of cooking the Thanksgiving meal." 

       “Why do you think the rules never apply to you?”  I inquired, along with other select, alienating comments. 

        Crestfallen, he nearly gave up, ready to leave the scene of battle.  I am so glad he didn’t.  An opportunity for learning and healing, on my part would have been lost.

        His younger, peace-maker brother witnessed the fray.  He wisely intervened. He reassured me they would clean the stove afterword. With their assurances, I decided to Let Go.  Our #3 son hung in there, whipping up rich, thick pancakes for all.  I sampled them.  They were delicious.  I even told him.

         My boundaries were being violated, so I thought.  By letting go, having an open mind and turning the outcome over to the God of my understanding,  I trusted Him to deal with my frustrations as He wished.

          Amazing transformations happen when I stop, exhale and think.  Applying healthy principles above unrealistic expectations or boundaries worked on this day.  Transcending past, painful personal and family legacies happened that morning.  Today, they were replaced with principles that give me wholeness, hope and a stomach full of good food!

                  Thanks for dropping by, 
                     Carl