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| Adulthood: enjoying equality with others. No, neither of these women is me. |
It truly is a great evening. It looks like my illness may have turned a corner, for the better. I did not fill up two tall waste baskets with tissues today, while blowing my nose. That has been the case, for the past seven days.
I'm not hacking and sneezing as much, either. Ya ay! With the following, as always, I ask you to take what you like and
leave the rest. I don't ask you to agree.
I made a statement in Friday's post: Avoiding Those Who Only Live From the Neck Up:
Today, I thought I might share with you some of these sentences. When I wrote the above statement, it didn't mean that I thought of no other thoughts for five years. Of course, that would be extreme.Sometimes, ONE SENTENCE has been more than enough for me to dwell upon, for five years.
What I meant was that I ruminate upon what I learn. I try applying it and usually succeed.
Constant learning without application has no appeal. Again, if I don't apply what I have learned, why feed my mind with more information?
Keep in mind that this is coming from a closet nerd. For decades, I've studied six to eight hours or more each day, loving every minute of it. I've been this way since I was eight.
What I've discovered is that others who are also are constant students and have succeeded academically are usually doing what I did, unknowingly, for years. They are trying to control the uncon-trollable aspects of life through knowledge. They vainly hope analysis will make sense out of life. It won't. Such efforts are sad, and futile.
The problem is, most of our problems are at the emotional level. Our cerebral cortex has nothing to do with our emotions. It is our limbic system that deals with this part of us. This requires somatic therapy----learning how to discharge the residue within our bodies due to traumas: accidents, illness, hospitalizations, abuse, death of loved ones, emotional, physical, verbal and sexual abuse, etc..
Anyway, here is one sentence that, if truly applied, would eliminate codependency, much less depression, frustration and anger for many. Are you ready? Just dwelling on the following thought and applying it would be transformational. Here it is:
How many blogs have you visited, where they go on with their morose observations? For me, too many, more than I would want to count. "Acting like a victim is a choice, not a destiny." (Hope for Today, p. 189)I block my well being every time I base my worth on what I do and what other people think of me. Courage to Change, p. 118, second sentence.
If the largeness of life is to be won, it requires moving beyond our selfish tears and seeing the hope available when we transcend defeatist attitudes by applying healthy principles above the vulnerable parts of our personality. We are not helpless, hopeless victims. (Hope, same page.)
Here's another variation on the same theme:
It is beyond me, why we do that. You are my equal, and I am yours. So, there! (I'm being playful, here. :-> )When I need the applause of others to feel good about myself, I have given them power over me. Courage, p. 9.
Could it be that we have been conditioned, emotionally coerced by others----since childhood----to place ourselves in a inferior position? I believe so. Often, our family, church and schools trained us to be subservient----to act unquestioningly. For more about what I've written on this subject, please read here.
Are we aware that such coercion is a form of violence and degradation??
As adults, for us to continue living this way is belying the dignity of what it is to be a mature person, by this, I mean someone older than sixteen. Adults have power. One of them is the ability to make choices. Another mark of an adult is that we are equal with all other adults. To yield to the tyranny of others is allowing them to infantilize us.
Can you tell I'm feeling stronger? It must have been the raw ox heart I ate. :-> (Kidding.)
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