Today Is A Big Day 3/13/21

      Today is special. 

      It is the 10th anniversary when this place opened.  Thank you for popping in, joining the innkeeper as we cele-brate this milestone.  So many things have happened during this time. 

      I'm older.  Hopefully wiser.  Tend-ing this place stretches me.  

      I've grown in expressing my

thoughts through writing.  For de-cades, I've been a public speaker.  That requires outlines, which I can do in my sleep.

     Writing is different.  It forcibly slows my thinking.  This is my 1,309th post.  When writing, I apply brakes to my thinking for every phrase, if not every word I scribe. 

      Writing is tempering this Latin writer.  

      Contributing here teaches me verbal sculpting, removing every unnecessary word and syllable.  It has become a part of the literary me.  I bet you are glad. 

      My innkeeper du-ties make me happier, a wonderful bonus. 

       How?  I self-express here, some-thing that did not happen as a kid.  Wri-ting for this inn of praise meets my need to communi-cate and have the attention missing as the fifth child of a rambunctious, noisy family of eight.  

      Thank you, so much for being great guests.  I hope you enjoy the foil-wrapped chocolates on your pillows. 

      Posting here clarifies my thoughts as I put them to paper.  Being heard by you and this site approaching a million views has more than met childhood needs. 

      During the past ten years, while tending this place, I continued to work on my recovery.  It has grown.  I enjoy life more than ever.  

      Recovery teaches us how to express our voice, positively, how to say our no as gently as our yes.  That has been true for me.  My relationships have improved and I am more the "me" that I am.  

      I am no longer stifled when connecting with others.  I am present, instead. 

      Recovery helps us take our lives back, how to stop letting the past and other people control us.  Personal growth cleanses us of unhealthy habits.  We move beyond false beliefs and living out roles that do not exhibit the real us. 

      With recovery, we are present and speaking our truth calmly, and respectfully, without fear.  

      Many of our beliefs that do not empower us were created as chil-dren. 

     The good news is that we are no longer children.  The unhelp-ful tendencies of youth are replaced with healthier principles.  We devel-op new, better habits when we listen.  Instead of letting insecurities go wild, they are reigned-in with effective responses.  

      For example, we learn to ask "What" versus "Why" questions.  Like in, the preferred, "What is causing you to look at me the way you are, right now?" Versus, inse-curely asking, "Why are you staring at me?"  

      With recovery, we adopt empowering attitudes.  

      We are no longer in one-down relationships.  We relate as equals with everyone.  We live with boundaries.  

      My self-esteem is higher, my love for others is stronger than it was ten years ago when I opened up this inn.  Why? Because authen-ticity is the foundation of my relationships. 

     For that to happen, bound-aries are required. Living with them creates order.  We are less frustrated.

     They define us.  They let others know who we are, and our values.

    

     The last decade right-sized me.

      My heart is lighter, carefree.  Life is filled with more joy than what I had when opening this inn.  I have a great love for the world.  My friend-ships are stronger, more authentic, and fulfilling, making me a grateful man. 

   What I've been reminded of during the past ten years:

1.  I'm not as important as I thought I was.  I realize the needs of others are as important as mine.  Not more important, but equally important. 

2.  There is a lot of joy to be found in listening to others.  There are worlds to explore, stars of ideas to ride, and mountains of discovery to scale with each person I meet.  When I make the time to invest in any-one, my world is enriched. 

     I gain new perspectives, I learn from everyone. 

3.  Life is about responding, not reacting.  We don't need to run from difficulties.  We want to sit with them, deter-mining how to meet our needs during difficult times.  

     a. With dominating people, I will insist on them under-standing and respecting my boundaries. 

     b.  With introspective individuals, I want to honor their needs.  That might include giving them more time to process what goes on between us.  The race does not always go to the swift. 

4.  Often, we meet our needs by doing less than we are capable of achiev-ing.  It isn't necessary to run at full steam at all times.  Recovery teaches us that sometimes we experience growth by doing less than the expectations others have or ours. 

5. The joy and comfort smi-ling produces.  Did you know it creates serotonin, birthing pleasure within us?  We do ourselves a favor when main-taining a joyful disposition. 

What Can I Admit?

1.  I am happier than I was ten years ago.   I was very happy back then.  But now, my opti-mism and perspective of gratitude have enlarged. 

2.  It is wonderful doing amends.  When I fail, that's okay.  Failures are opportunities for instant learning, for growth. If I'm not failing, I'm not growing.

     We want to work on our weaknesses until they become our strengths.  That's how we grow and improve. 

3.  I have better discernment.  I spend time with those who improve my life, not drain it. 

4.  It is critical to have "me" time, quiet time for personal growth.  During that time I might slow down.  Or it may mean pushing myself when I feel as if I don't have another ounce of strength. 

What Am I Grateful For Because of the Past Ten Years?

1.  I am calmer. My perspective has improved.  I am not rattled as much. 

    I've learned that when I am aware of what is happening in the mo-ment, I am no longer lost in it.  This happens when I pause and not react to what life throws in my direction. 

2. I've acquired several tools and principles for my personal growth since opening this inn. They allow me to have space and they help honor values important for me, like autonomy, balance, and emotional safety.  Here are some helpful principles: 

1. I want to always place principles above personalities. 

2.  "There is a price too high to pay for peace. One cannot pay the price of self-respect."  Woodrow Wilson.

3. "When the applause of others is the reason for my behavior and necessary for me to feel satisfied, then I have given them power over me."

3.  "If you feel like a doormat, you need to get up off the floor."

    Thank you, for dropping by over the past ten years.  Just wait, the next ten will be better!

     A grateful and happy innkeep-er, especially for the past ten years, 

       Pablo