I have snuck in here, from time-to-time, editing "Signs of Being Toxic." We want to be in cahoots with Heraclitus. He said, "No man stands in the same river twice. It is a new man and a new river, each time."
The water we step in when entering a river is different from what flows seconds later. The man, minutes later, is different than he was a moment ago. Each minute of life, when we are free from men-tal chatter and enjoy recovery, provides growth and wonder if we but observe without judgment.
Hourly, opportunities for growth present themselves. They may be times to assertively express ourselves or practice patience. It can be chances for us to exercise better discernment.
The latter a recent arena for growth for me.
I'm forced to relate to an unsafe person. We want to avoid them, practicing detachment.
Our circum-stances may not change, but we can. We can become more effective. We can improve our people picker. An increasing love for life and our calling is possible.
We can become the luckiest people in the world, not wanting to trade our lives for any other. Much of what transpires in our lives is for the good. Even though it may not look that way.
The bad parts of our lives can turn out for good.
All things work out for good, for those who take the next right step. The alchemy of recovery does this. It takes the lead of difficul-ties and challenging people, transforming them into golden opportun-ities for practicing better judgment, patience, and compassion.
Recovery helps us see difficult people are in the grips of a charac-terological dis-ease. We don't want to punish a person because they are that way. Instead, we want to under-stand their negativity is a statement about them, not us.
We would never punish our children for having a fever. This is the same situation when relating with people we'd rather avoid. Those making life difficult have a temperamental fever.
It doesn't make their actions acceptable. But seeing that they are temperamentally ill helps us not take their behavior or comments personally.
We enjoy a vitality, we pour Miracle-Gro into our lives when living with a supportive, loving community. We internalize the strength and grace we need but don't have on our own when we are attacked, or catastrophizing. Healthy bonds provide equanimity and guidance when weathering life's storms.
Having a sweet re-lationship with our Higher Power is essential, too. To-gether, community and our spiritual practice form a breastplate. It al-lows life's difficulties to glance off of it, keeping our serenity and joy intact.
Life's difficulties can be either stumbling blocks or stepping stones.
It is all about recovery that provides the positive and constructive perspective needed to thrive and transcend our problems. Personal growth happens when we place healthy, dynamic principles above our personality---the negative default modes and false beliefs created while growing up in less than ideal homes.
I'd love hearing your gratitudes. In the meantime, may you know God's patient, gracious love for you. May your friends encourage you.
May you be a blessing to those who cross your path today. One way of doing that is by offering a smile to all you encounter this day.
I'm forced to relate to an unsafe person. We want to avoid them, practicing detachment.
We can become the luckiest people in the world, not wanting to trade our lives for any other. Much of what transpires in our lives is for the good. Even though it may not look that way.
The bad parts of our lives can turn out for good.
All things work out for good, for those who take the next right step. The alchemy of recovery does this. It takes the lead of difficul-ties and challenging people, transforming them into golden opportun-ities for practicing better judgment, patience, and compassion.
Recovery helps us see difficult people are in the grips of a charac-terological dis-ease. We don't want to punish a person because they are that way. Instead, we want to under-stand their negativity is a statement about them, not us. We would never punish our children for having a fever. This is the same situation when relating with people we'd rather avoid. Those making life difficult have a temperamental fever.
It doesn't make their actions acceptable. But seeing that they are temperamentally ill helps us not take their behavior or comments personally.
We enjoy a vitality, we pour Miracle-Gro into our lives when living with a supportive, loving community. We internalize the strength and grace we need but don't have on our own when we are attacked, or catastrophizing. Healthy bonds provide equanimity and guidance when weathering life's storms.
Life's difficulties can be either stumbling blocks or stepping stones.
It is all about recovery that provides the positive and constructive perspective needed to thrive and transcend our problems. Personal growth happens when we place healthy, dynamic principles above our personality---the negative default modes and false beliefs created while growing up in less than ideal homes.
*************
I'd love hearing your gratitudes. In the meantime, may you know God's patient, gracious love for you. May your friends encourage you.
May you be a blessing to those who cross your path today. One way of doing that is by offering a smile to all you encounter this day.
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2 comments:
Dear Innkeeper,
Thank you for your wonderful post. It definitely struck a chord with me. I had recently stumbled upon a quote from my recovery literature online this week, which amazingly coincided with your theme.
“Life is like a library owned by the author.
In it are a few books which he wrote himself, but most of them were written for him.”
― Harry Emerson Fosdick
It also reminds me of Byron Katie's adage that "things happen for us not to us".
I'm grateful. I'm grateful because I realized that my higher power is always teaching me, and I am learning way more than me having "my way," and I think that's the best thing for me. I went through a deep realization, today. I acknowledged how much I've grown the last 3 years because of extreme, personal, challenges. I also see the areas I can grow, still. It's exciting!
I see that everyone in my life has been a gift from my higher power to help me wake up to my true nature, my peace and serenity. Nothing is personal. God is so good. He works through people in spite of their characterological behavior. I couldn't see that because I was unconsciously groomed by the previous generation. I took things personally.
I realized that I was always living with principles above my personality, but I unfortunately put man above God. Personality warfare never works. Previous generations didn't question their beliefs.
I am a miracle. I am a survivor of a co-dependent and narcissistic couple and decades of unconscious living. Still, my higher power, has always been there for me. Now, I am blessed with a time in my life where I can go deeper and come to a place where I can accept my higher power with more humility and depth. I"m getting stronger. I'm learning to question those stories behind the guilt and shame. If we are believing things that are untrue, we have no other choice.
Thank you!
SM
Dear SM,
Thank you, for your comments. It's wonderful having company here, at this inn. I like your Byron Katie quote.
I agree with it. Another variation is: it isn't what we are going through, but what we are going to, we want to focus upon.
I love how you see your difficulties over the past three years not as stumbling blocks but as stepping stones.
Thank you, for the enthusiasm that pours from your comment. I agree with you, your Higher Power uses difficult people and life's challenges to forward your growth.
I imagine you are enjoying greater serenity and are celebrating life more as you experience God working in you and through your circumstances.
You are an inspiration. You do not just know about God, you know Him personally. I enjoy your positivity. This is what this inn is about, finding the jewels of joy, and the clearer perspective we have when living with recovery.
Thank you, for making my day with your insights!
The Innkeeper
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