Courage Faces Fear and Thereby Masters It............ 3/5/20

       Awake at this late hour, work-ing, completing a project.  I missed meeting with friends tonight in the lovely island town of Alameda, because of the task before me.

      I haven't strayed from this event in years.

      I enjoy being the innkeeper of this place of gratitude.  This remains true after nearly nine years, submitting 1,293 posts.

     This morning's visit, what I write here, is a respite from demands that want my immediate time and attention.

    An enjoyable break. 

     What preoc-cupies my atten-tion and mental space this month deals with an area of weakness, requiring action contrary to my nature.  It taxes, drains me.  It could be a nightmare, if I am not careful.

     Speaking before 250, 500 or 2,000 people, which I did weekly, years ago, is easier.  The present chore requires auxiliary, awk-ward, uncomfort-able portions of who I am.  If it were not for my strong recovery, my rela-tionship with good friends, and having a terrific connection with God, I'd be fear-ful regarding today's task.

     Yes, me.

     Personal growth lets us see projects---like this one--contrib-ute to our personal evolution.  If we are not failing, we are not growing.

 "Courage faces fear and thereby             masters it."

      We can be proud when applying dog-ged determination, doing what we don't want to do, because we must.  It meets our need for disci-pline, maturing----knowing success.

"To achieve your dreams you must embrace adversity and make failure a regular part of your life.  If you are not failing, you are probably not really moving forward."                 John Maxwell

      We cannot become the person we want to be by remain-ing the way we are.  The only way out is through.  To paraphrase John Maxwell:

A man must be big enough to admit his vulnerabilities, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them. 

My Gratitudes for Tonight:
1.  I've related to an extremely unplea-sant person.  In such circumstances we want to detach.  This is taking care of our needs when with unpleasant people.

     We want to be pleasant, but use Medium Chill, detaching with a bit of coldness. Not a usual mode of rela-ting with others

"A prudent man sees a danger and withdraws. The simple continue on and suffer for it."                           Proverbs 27:12

2.   I am ending a relationship with another in-dividual, too, in addition to the one who cre-ates emotional distress, that I mentioned.  We do not want to accept unaccep-table behavior.  Our joy increas-es when using boundaries, self-control, instead of peo-ple pleasing.

   Boundaries are for us to adhere to, not the other person. 
   

 3. I had an hour and fifteen minutes over the phone with my son this evening.  I liked being honest, but kind at the same time.

  "The highest form of wisdom is kindness."

     I said how I'd like our relationship to be.  He agreed.  We do not want to force our opinion.

     We speak from our point of view.  We'll see what happens. Normally, my son is forceful in our conversations.

     Not tonight.

     We made plans to see each other, soon.  Our conversation met my needs for connection, honesty, support, and mutuality.  I let him know I saw things differently.

      We do not want to say others are wrong.  We simply inform them we are not in agreement. Tactfulness is knowing how to make a point without making an enemy. 

    I'd love to hear your gratitudes.