Using Boundaries: Not Accepting Unacceptable Behavior........... 3/17/20

     Recently, I asserted the need for acceptable behavior when relating with a boorish individual, one who constantly criticized, put down others and judged. 
 
     I relate with pleasant people, those who are compassionate, patient and focus on cleaning their side of the street, not the porch of others or mine.  These are Safe People.

     An important principle in recovery is not accepting unacceptable behavior.  Nor do we sacrifice or integrity to anyone.

      I love the sanity we have when using discernment.  This is having a healthy people picker.  When we are codependent, it is broken.

     A broken people picker invites chaos, drama and plenty of grief, mentally and socially.

     We are not codependent when we live with recovery, and are internally referented.  We are thankful for the clarity and safety boundaries offer.

     I was relating with a judgmental person.  In recovery, we clean our side of the street, not that of others.  He wanted to correct me, tell me how I should be.

     That's a no-no.  Such behavior is unsafe.  Someone having this quality is best avoided.

      I feel better already, ending my relationship with him.  I'm no longer affected by his toxicity.  He was a person who brightened a room by leaving it.
 

     Being judgmental is actually a form of control.. When yielding to others who are this way, we are forsaking our boundaries.  We are reinforcing this person's imma-turity.

     Recovery teaches us to be with responsive, not reactive people. Responsive individuals remain affirming, even when challenged or disagreeing with another.  Recovery is having control over our emo-tions.

    This is the defin-ing characteristic of an adult.  That is what makes adoles-cents, adolescents.  They can't control their emotions.

    If we do not have a grip on our feel-ings, we are emo-tionally adolescent.

 Gratitudes For Today
1.  Life is simpler, less demanding, because of the restrictive turn life has taken because of The Virus.

     It is an oppor-tunity to slow down.  Our society---everyone---because of the Corona virus, is moving from a crazy 4,000 rpms to 1,000.   We are moving away from operating at a highway speed.

     We are now moseying around the country roads of life at 25 mph.  Good.  It provides time for our minds to decompress and smell the wild flowers, rather than the coffee.
2.  My good friend Stuart and I visited Sunday night.

    It met my need for fun, connection, communication and good food.  We met at Cafe Raj, an Indian restaurant.  A lovely time of enjoying the depth of a close friend I have known for more than 20 years.

3.  A special toy I'm getting Friday morning.  It's my sports car.  It is returning, after a long hiatus. I am excited, thrilled.

    I can't wait.

    It meets my need for fun, celebrating life, adventure, change of routine and connecting with one person at a time.  It only holds two people.
 

s4. I was inspired Sunday morning.  I am grateful for those in my life who add to it.  I heard someone speak that moved me to reach out to oth-ers, even during this infectious season.

     Reaching out does not mean I'm getting in touch with them physically.
5.  I had fun revising the previous post.  I've put a lot of time into it, since I first posted it last Friday.  Writing is energizing, a form of verbal sculpting.
6.  It is terrific, I am more active, here, submitting five posts over the past four weeks. Thank you, for dropping by!

      How are you?  Is the Coronavirus cooping you up?  It certainly is a different world from last month.