Thursday, August 25

Taking Care of Self: Squirreling Away for the Upcoming Emotional Storm & Healing from Relational Alzheimer's Disease .......................8/25/11

Every happening, great and small, is a parable whereby
God speaks to us, and the art of life is to get the message.
(Malcolm Muggeridge)
     Good evening everyone,

How was your day? I needed a second day of taking it easy. I've been tackling intense issues. I had a one and half hour meeting with my banker yesterday. I didn't realize how much I would be drained today, because of it, but I am.

     This evening, I took in the Giants game. They lost, again, to a team that's been doing poorly this season. Remember, these are the World Champion San Francisco Giants who are losing.  I was happy I could watch the game, regardless of the outcome. My loyalty isn't based upon their performance.

    Normally, I'd meet with friends on this night, but I was worn out. Physically, I'm experiencing the consequences of placing principles above my personality and my emotions. That's okay: 
"Courage faces fear and thereby masters it." 
"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt."
William Shakespeare, "Measure for Measure," Act 1, scene 4
I'm transcending beyond my fears and doubts; as a result, I'm seeing tremendous
success in accomplishing the vision I have for my life and seeing terrific results unfold before me.

      I worked from home today: am I glad. Today, eating nutritiously, I made a point of doing;  I took care of myself. I'll be heading into a period of stress over the next week as I'm making improvements in my life. Being aware of the stormy season just ahead, allows me to gear up for it. By getting rest, praying, studying, doing things that nurture me---like watching the ballgame (the relief pitcher Brian Wilson has trimmed his beard, I see) I squirrel away restorative nuts and grains for the upcoming winter of stressful transitions.

      Years ago, I'd plod along, by dint of will, I'd muscle my way through life's difficulties. Not so, now. I'm easier on myself when facing tough times. This is the time when I realize I need to be especially careful about taking care of me, being at my best, physically, spiritually and emotionally. This is so different from how I operated as a child and a young man.  Then, I thought of everyone else and neglected myself.  I often had no consciousness of my needs. I was told I was spiritual, because I ignored myself. Now, I know better.

     The interesting thing is that when I look out for my welfare, my serenity is greater, I'm happier and emotionally stronger, less vulnerable.

Where I'll listen to some jazz this Saturday
       Today, I encountered rudeness from a friend. I suffer from an emotional case of Alzheimer's Disease, with this person. I forget the ongoing rudeness and unkind behavior I encounter when with him. My tolerance of it reminds me I'm far from having it all together.  My mind and character are diseased, but they are getting healthier. That's something which I'm thankful for, one of today's gratitudes.

       My character discernment meter is getting better (another gratitude). At least now I see the problem with this troubled friend who's taking out his frustrations on those close to him. Not long ago, I didn't----I'd take it personally.  I once refused looking at issues that made our relationship unacceptable. Now, I accept the situation; I see it for what it is; that doesn't mean that I accept it, as we normally consider this word.

       I learned that acceptance does not mean acceptance, where we tolerate the unkind behavior or words of others. I now know acceptance does not mean submission to a degrading or controlling situation. It means coming to terms with it, this is Awareness. Processing my feelings about the situation, grieving it and letting it go is Acceptance. Finally, I decide what steps I want to take to have my needs met; this is Action. The Three A's help me to have healthier, relationships and I feel better and enjoy greater serenity.

       Others may disappoint me, but I am responsible for dealing with it, not them. For more about this subject, click here for a wonderful but practical article.
"Acting like a victim is choice, not a destiny."
 Hope for Today, 189
       Saturday, I think I'll go hear Eric Shifrin play the piano at the Fairmont Hotel. That will be the step I'll take to nurture myself while processing life's disappointments, including my relationship with this person who's become an Unsafe Person (for more about Unsafe People click here) for me. (Or is it that my character discernment is getting better and I'm just more aware?)  Listening to great music is something I enjoy doing. The question will be, who will I take with me. I think I know who I'll ask.

           The resourceful innkeeper,

Image: "Northamptonshire: Lakeside"  by Tim Blessed © all rights reserved, used by permission


BARBARA said...

I am taking care of myself today by telling the people I love what my needs are because I know they are not mind readers. I am enjoying a delicious lunch of grilled salmon, mashed potatoes and green beans and I will be on retreat this weekend in Menlo Park with Father Tom W.

Paul NorthernCal said...


Hey, it's great hearing from you. Great to see you back. Father Tom. Wow. I'm green with envy. I guess I won't see you tonight. My son and a friend from Los Altos will join me as I drop by Hayward, tonight.

I love your gratitudes. I'm also in agreement with you about communicating with those we love. It's our job to express our needs and to deal with the disappointment if they aren't met. The attached link, in the post above, gives excellent examples how we can do that.

Hope to see you in the inn again. Thanks for dropping by. I'll see you next Tuesday in Castro Valley!

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.