Sunday, October 18

Not Moved By Drama................ 10/18/15

"Life is a great cycle of cause and effect. Everyone makes choices every day, and everyone's
choices affect others.  The combination of everyone's choices and the effect those choices
have on others makes the world what it is.

"Every problem can be traced to some unloving or selfish choice someone made. These
errors are the major cause of problems in the world today---selfishness and lack of love.
People either don't see how their wrong choices affect others or they don't care enough
to do things differently."  This lovely caption is from Tim Blessed, the photographer of
the image above and of many that have become the windows of this inn. 

Image: "England: Cumbria-Country Road Bridge"  Copyrighted photo. Used by permission

      Drama should not move us.

      Recently, a client of a few months came to emotional charged inaccurate conclusions.  He was triggered because I had sessions with his wife.  Get this---he referred his wife to me. He expected me to react to his fears. He believed I was taking her side.

      His excited imaginings reveals emotional baggage.  Mental chatter prevents him from being present.  He could not see reality: objectivity is central to what I do. Drama was avoided. Yielding to this client's pressure didn't happen.

      It is always preferred, placing principles above personalities.  Fearful, exaggerated behavior serves no one.  Submitting to it leads to chaos.  Giving in to strong emotions creates unpredictability. No longer are we living by principles.

     We are led by a seesawing perspective. We are surrendering to an agitated person.  Usually this is someone who disregards our needs and feelings.  We want to see their behavior for what it is: manipulation.

      Upset people do not want us to make decisions based on what is right.  They want us to make decisions based on their reactions to our values.  That is placing personalities---the agitated person's----first.  No can do.  Recovery is not giving in to the pressure of unpleasant or disturbed people.  To do otherwise is codependency.
Gratitudes for Today
1.  I was inspired by a talk I heard this morning. I like the clarity it provided about making  decisions. 
2.  I rested today.  It helps me thrive and balance my intense weeks.  I don't care to burn out. 
3.  Last night's conversation. 

How About You?
What are your gratitudes for today?


Anonymous said...

Dear Innkeeper,
"I am not moved by drama." Wow! Good for
you. You deserve better. I'm also tired of being
coerced by other people's irrational perspectives.
Projecting it onto me simply because they are following
their externally-referented thoughts, which is disrespect
toward themselves.
I pray to God that I will be able to stay in that
space within that is me, that I am able to discern between
the mind and the heart.
I'm praying for you.

Thumper said...

Dear Pablo,

Here are my gratitudes:

1. For my dear husband who always makes his family a priority.

2. For my son who showed compassion, kindness and gentleness toward his teacher when she was feeling down. His kind words and sincerity brought her to tears. I am so proud of the man he is becoming!

3. For being loved by a friend who spontaneously took me out to a lovely dinner that included 4 hours of authentic sharing and conversation!

4. For my "higher puppy" and my sweet cat, Luna. Both, who bring me great joy and peace.

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.