Tuesday, December 30

A Reflective, Grateful Innkeeper 12/30/14

      I am not quite sure who I am today.  I've gone through a lot lately. More about that when I have time to write and clear out my head.  Below are gratitudes for today.

1.  For personal growth.  I am different than I was two years ago,  five months ago, than I was last
week. I have a greater inner peace than I realized.  Mine has been strong for decades. Now, it guards my heart in ways
beyond compre-hension.  When I expect my heart to tremble, collapsing with despair, a peace envelops my heart  in a way that was not possible as recently as five years ago.

     I see more clearly, with a quiet confidence that every-thing works out for the best.  Even in darkest times.  It is not the result my abilities. Certainly, my peace of mind was not attained by logic or study.  Only in God is my soul at rest, because of Him I enjoy peace, joy and an inner strength that allows me to have optimism and strength of character.

    No ritual, no religious ceremonies made this possible.  It is born from realizing my spiritual bankruptcy apart from God, and relying on Him to do for me what I cannot do for myself.
2.  For music. I am a musician, performed for decades.  Not long ago I composed a song for someone.
      Music enlivens, strengthens, excites and soothes me, all at once.  Like mathematics, it is a language beyond words. It taps into my soul in ways words and logic can't.  My soul dances when enjoying music I like.

      Today, I nurtured me, listening to a musician who personifies the thrill music creates.
3.  For writing. Since, my last post, I wrote several drafts, to leave here.  They remain unpublished.  My heart isn't ready to express itself through them.  I need time. A hurricane of thoughts and feelings needs to calm down before I can make sense of them.

      Know this, some posts are incubating. When fully grown, I'll introduce them to you.

      Writing uncages my soul, it unfurls my wings, allowing me to soar.  Often I don't know what I have to say until I write. Surprising vistas and the comforting sunshine of peace of mind envelop me when I apply pen to paper, emptying out what is within. Glories would be missed, if my soul didn't take flight through scribing.

      That's it for now. May you have a great and grateful day.  I know mine will be. 


Superman said...

Dear Innkeeper,
Wow! The Don Ruiz quote is spot on (British talk). I struggle with this a lot. The self-conceit coming from being externally-referented preventing us from completely surrendering to God. Christ has already taken care of everyone. Why must I exhaust myself with what is out of my control? Shhhhh....I say gently to the white noise in my mind. May I be gentle and tender towards myself and whisper to God, "I just can't do it by myself anymore, God. I trust you to grace me with you're love."
Thank you, Pablo.

Pablo said...

Dear Superman,

What you share is a great summary of Steps 1-3, in Al-Anon Family Group recovery. This is awareness. We can't change anything without seeing it, first. You coming to the conclusions you express means you are getting healthier.

Falling back into God's arms can be scarey. The more we do it, the easier it is---we see that He does respond. Surrendering to God is the first step, yes.

Here's wishing you a fantastic 2015!
The Innkeeper

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.