Monday, August 27

Calmness In the Eye of the Emotional Storm, Part III. Tranquility When Tempted to Be Agitated or Depressed ....................8/27/12

Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things.
Image: "Countryside: Across the Valley" by Tim Blessed.  Copyrighted photo. Used by permission. 
      Good evening,
How was your day? I'll get to today's topic in a minute, but first I'll share
my gratitudes. Thanks for dropping by. Please remember the vision for this inn. This is a gratitude journal for those who drop by in cyberspace.

My Gratitudes for Today:
1. I cycled for the first time with my friend Stuart.

    I've known him for more than thirty years.  The views were fantastic. We rode along Alameda's marinas. The sky was brilliantly clear.  The westerly wind had the the nautical flags on the ships flying out, pointing East.

   I've become the Pied Piper of bicycling!  I've gotten friends to join me, as we ride bikes through the beautiful city in which I live.  Many had not ridden a bike in years.  It helps having a second bike.

2. I opened up with Stuart about the latest developments in my life---he was surprised.  There's something to be said for long-term friends.  Isn't it wonderful having friends, with whom we can just open up, as if there had been hardly any gap since the last time we've visited?
3. The weather was lovely, in the eighties with no humidity.  I love the fantastic weather we enjoy here, in the San Francisco Bay Area.
4. I have a new cyclometer.  My older one was broken.  You don't know how excited I am, having this device.  After getting a new one on Saturday, I rode 40 miles the next day---all because of this gadget that keeps track of my cycling journeys within a tenth of a mile.
5. I've ridden sixty miles in the past two days. I love the vitality I feel, when exercising. My mind likes it too, it releases plenty of stress.
6. I got good news about a professional opportunity. I trust God for the outcome. I have the founder of an organization as my advocate. I look forward to whatever happens.

Calmness in the Eye of the Emotional Storm

        It's a great feeling, not perseverating when stressed. And, right now, I am under intense pressure. Getting agitated never helps. How can I be mentally clear, when panicking?

        Feeling equilibrium, drawing from God's strength and love is preferred during such times.  It's an amazing gift, having this as my routine reaction now, when weathering turbulent times.  Peace, when swirling in the eye of an circumstantial storm helps me keep my focus.

        Serenity is an amazing gift, the result of applying healthy principles above the vulnerable parts of my personality, leaning on my relationship with God and connecting with my emotionally safe friends.  These options are better than the inadequate coping methods that my younger self once used when immersed in life's drama.

        Isolating, anger, resentment, bitterness and self-loathing no longer reign over me. No longer are they my default mode, when experiencing life's drama or disappointment, be it with others or myself. Using healthy, constructive alternatives, putting one foot in front of the other, is much more effective.

       Often, I find it is better to not think, just do.  (No, I don't work for Nike.)  If I don't live by recovery principles, I could analyze too much, a form of trying to control the uncontrollable, which is futility.

       I'm grateful for the ease, emotional safety, joy, tranquility I have. Now, it often transcends my circumstances. One key factor that allows me to know these positive qualities is no longer beating myself up. When I do that, I know it's a result of operating alone, I'm not allowing my Balcony People to undergird me with their love.

       Now, I'm gentle towards myself.  When wrong, I treat myself with love and tenderness. This was not my experience, when a child and I erred. Back then, it was the end of the world to my dad and older siblings, and I was punished.

        I'm thrilled that I have found hope for my past.  I'm creating new legacies, replacing the ineffective methods  that were used when I lived in my family of origin.  I am loving towards myself when I'm goof.

        I have learned that when I experience a sad, disappointing or frustrating moment in my life, it can be either a monument to my past pain, or, by how I respond, it can reflect the healing, growth and grace I now know.

        Sure, it may feel good----temporarily---being petulant. But, would I really want to trade that for the peace, joy, and harmony I feel, when replacing my character defects with new and better alternatives?  I am glad I've learned a better way to live, life now is not only about being at peace with others, and circumstances, but myself.

How About You? 
What are your three gratitudes for today? I'd love hearing them.  Thanks!

3 comments:

Carl H said...

My Gratitude for today is singular but was liberating and educational…

I am grateful I could have that difficult conversation with my boss I was both fearing and avoiding! And, to my surprise, it went smoothly. Page 188 in a daily reader called Hope for Today comes to mind! Wow, Faith vs. Fear can be very real, when experienced first-hand.

I am the only non-Japanese sales person in our Japanese seafood company and the only non-Asian in my office. It turns out my new boss is kind of shy about dealing with me, and not at all hostile after all. He knows his predecessor; my former boss and I were very close, therefore, he did not quite know how to relate to me.

In passing, toward the end of the work day, he asked how I was feeling; if I was tired. These guys work 11-12 hours a day, and think it’s normal, so yes, I was bushed! I took that as a kind of serendipitous hint to engage and asked if I could ask his “advice about something.” That got me in the door.

I’m trying to schedule knee surgery around my work, without further harm to knee or employment. I am the oldest sales person, the only non-Japanese, and relatively new to the team. In addition, as a “seasoned” sales manager, I am also paid twice what the others make, and don’t work on commission, as they do. Therefore I am envied, and potentially kind of a “sitting duck,” in terms of any future cost-cutting or down-sizing.

It turns out we both would prefer I do the surgery in January, during our slow business time, and after the holidays. However, he is flexible if I find I need to do it sooner. What a huge relief!

I was building a mental “mountain out of a molehill,” and judging him unfairly. In the work of healing; in recovery, I finally faced my fear, “Let Go”, trusted God, and let it unfold naturally.

By going forward with faith, it seems God was able to remove a nagging burden. Inertia in our relationship was broken, and we can now engage on a whole new level. In fact, tomorrow, I’m bringing him a surprise, 7-day Guest Pass to my gym, based on an earlier conversation!

Pablo said...

Carl,

This is so good that I'm going to feature this in the inn, not just here, in the comments section.

You can read my response there.

Thank you, so much, for sharing your insights---you add to the wisdom to this inn with your gratitudes.

Catherine said...

Thank you for sending me your links which you felt were appropriate for my current goings-on. It was very thoughtful. I will get to the others soon.

Today I am grateful for:

1.) I flew like a bird, actually flapping my wings, chasing my daughter around a trampoline. I was grateful that I have the agility to do this.

2.) I am grateful to my mother, who provides, with her meager income, all the opportunities for artistic outlets for my children.

3.) I am grateful that today I am not desperately searching the streets for something that can kill.

More later. I love the thought of this being "The Inn."

:)

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.

Labels