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| The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy. |
This was not a good day, if I look at things horizontally. What do I mean? If I look at my circumstances from a worldly point of view, I should be despairing. I don't and I'm not.
I see life
vertically. That's the way I have been, since my youth. Today, I received bad news---two terribly devastating bits of information, from two different sources. My response: it's going to be interesting seeing how God works out these cirumstances. I don't have a clue how things will eventuate, He does.
Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. - AnonymousIt's amazing witnessing my response to the information I received by phone and by mail today. I'm not freaking out, when most people would. It reminds me of ten years ago, when I lay in a hospital.
On that occasion, I was in excruciating agony, remedied by morphine. I hadn't taken in any food in a week. Even water had to taken intravenously. Doctors performed a series of tests. One possibility was that I had pancreatic cancer. If that was the case, I was informed, I would have just a few months to live.
Prior to this dramatic moment, I always wondered how I'd react if given such grim news. My response: serenity and calmness. I like what Martin Luther said. "Even if I knew the world were to end tomorrow, I would still plant my apple tree." I agree.
While in the hospital that week, my sons stayed by my side, keeping me company. I held them. We prayed, we talked. I had no sense of panic, I felt serene. Two days later they diagnosed my problem----I was going to live, though with a vulnerability I would have the rest of my life.
Due to medication I took for one year, I was injured, suffering a side effect. The prescription was supposed to help me sleep. Instead, it damaged my pancreas.
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I find myself in a similar place, today. This time my concerns are circumstantial.
What I am learning as I'm challenged:
1. How good it is for my equanimity, when I stay in the solution. Where is the growth, when we focus on the negative? Fear and anxiety reveals I have a problem with trust. It's much better, turning over my concerns to God.
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Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. - Albert Einstein
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2. No longer am I rattled, when the rug is pulled from beneath me.3. I do not accept negative voices that want to confound me. Instead, I remain focused, mindful that I'm surrounded by love of others and God's strength.
4. I'm exercising self-love as I weather this present storm. I'm happy that I'm being gentle towards myself. I'm moving forward. I'd like seeing more dramatic favorable results, but I'm learning patience, my trust is being stretched.
5. I'm sensing God's love for me, even during this challenging season, especially because I'm going through a turbulent time.
6. What a relief it is, receiving encouragement, love and support from my friends, my Balcony People. I am not isolating. I'm reaping the benefits of having a strong supportive network.
7. Difficult times strengthens my time in prayer.
8. The value of taking circumstances one day at a time. Each day has enough trouble of its own. I don't need to compound my concerns by perseverating over difficulties or disappointments.
9. I'm making time to take of myself. This is when I need to be at my strongest. Exercise, healthy food, reading material that encourages me and getting rest is critical. I'm taking all these steps.
10. I'm feeling my feelings then looking at options, seeing what can I do next.
11. I am not allowing today's difficulties to prevent me from the joys that life offers me each day. Listening to birds sing, appreciating the splash of color that flowers provide and delighting in the caresses of the cool bay breezes, I still enjoy. I value warm smiles and the little kindnesses I experience each day.
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2 comments:
Dear Pablo,
With this Inn, and all the grace, love and hope it provides, and with all you do daily to selflessly serve, support, heal and comfort those either suffering directly from the diseases of addiction; all kinds, or their aftermath; the fallout in marriages, families and homes, surely the God of your understanding will come through for you in your hour of need. It seems He always has...
I am reminded of the brilliant, powerful film "Lilies of the Field," with Sidney Poitier, and more essentially, the famous bible quote in Matt 6: 25-34, about same.
I love that you wrote, and I paraphrase liberally..."It will be interesting to see what kind of unexpected blessing or surprise God comes up with for me in this circumstance."
You could not have a more perfectly sane and serene attitude under fire. I have always believed when one door closes, another one opens; or maybe even unexpectedly, a window. The adventures of your life-long journey with God in faith are probably some of your most memorable! Listen to Paul McCartney's "The Long & Winding Road," when you can. It speaks to this. Many blessings along the way.
Dear Carl,
It's wonderful when the innkeeper is encouraged by his guests! Thank you,for your exhortation.
My relationship with God is a good one. I agree, this is an unmanageable time in my life and the best thing I can do is get out of the way and see what God will do.
I've been heeding your advice, checking out some of the music you've suggested. Sometimes, however, it's best just having solitude, silence and enjoying contemplation.
Thank you for your concern for the innkeeper.
Pablo
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