God Is Not My Spiritual Bellboy, Part III .................................8/20/12

This is not God. I'm sorry if you were mistaken.

   Good evening,

My Gratitudes for Today:
1. I rested today. That's unusual. It just worked out that way.
2. I'm going through some changes in my life, unexpected ones. Moments like these make me happy that I'm not
a control freak, trying to use my machinations and mind to control outcomes.

     No, I don't do that. Instead, I'm glad for slogans such as "Easy Does It," and "Let Go and Let God."  My name, Pablo, is Paul in English. It comes from the same word from which we get the words paucity, pause and small,  (The Apostle Paul was small in stature, according to the apocryphal book, The Acts of Paul and Thecla. It may be the reason why he had this name.) It conveys the idea of smallness or scarcity, littleness, in Latin.

     My point? I like my name. Not just because it is my name. Nope. I like it because it reminds me, it helps me keep perspective. I am small. It is always good for me to remember that.

     God is not my spiritual bellboy as I mentioned yesterday and in a previous post. You can read the first post about this subject here. The guy in the bellboy uniform at the beginning of this post is not God. But he might as well be, the way many of us treat God. We snap our fingers at God, telling him what to do, upset when He doesn't perform according to our expectations.

      For me, my name daily, hourly reminds me that I'm small. I am not the sum total of the universe, far be it. Although, when I worry, it reveals I'm thinking and feeling in a vacuum. I'm living as if there is no God. I'm living without God.  I'm acting as if all of life's circumstances depend upon me, my resources and cunning. What a sad state of affairs that would be, if that were true.

      Unfortunately, that is the case for many.  Worry reveals I have a problem with trust. It also reminds me that I'm living without using the resources I have when I connect with the living God.

      It isn't so much that I arrogantly say "God is in my heart," as if my finite body could contain all of God's majesty, glory and power. Nope, that is not possible. Instead, remembering that I'm "small," I check to see if I'm in the heart of God; am I doing His will?

     Yesterday, I was with a group of friends where one woman used vulgarities to express her reaction to God. She was mad at Him. She didn't trust Him, because He didn't do what she wanted. Wow.

      I spoke up. I mentioned that if we are going in the wrong way, it doesn't help to run in the opposite direction, if we are on the wrong bus. Meditation, I said, allows me to orient myself. It frees me from the "white noise" of busyness. It allows me to check in with God.

     It helps me to hear His voice, His will. It allows me to understand why He orchestrates events in my life the way He does.  Prayer and meditation allows me to get off the bus of life and get my bearings.

     We learn in Al-Anon Family Groups to seek His will and the power to carry it out. That's Step Eleven: "Through prayer and meditation we try to increase our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of his will and the power to carry it out."

      When I talk with those who are in recovery, I say that it appears that this step is invisible, when it comes to living it out. Many people in recovery often talk about what they want, their will:  "This is not happening,....., I'm angry at God,....., "I'm going to do this or that..., etc. "  Nowhere do I hear the individual sharing the directions  they've gotten from God, due to spending time with Him, getting their instructions from Him.  Sad.

      This is also contrary to Step Three in the recovery process. In this step, "We made a decision to turn over our will and our lives over to the care of God."  Let me say that again, we turn over our will and our lives to God.

       I want to quote a passage from Paths To Recovery, an important book in the Al-Anon Family Group fellowship. For more information about this wonderfully supportive organization that assists the friends and family member of alcoholics, please refer to footnote 1 at this link.

"Remember, that asking [God] for help does not mean asking for specific results---that is asking God to perform our will! Turning our will and our lives over to the God of our understanding  means that we put the outcome in God's hands."  Paths, p. 29

        There it is again. We are to think small about us and largely about God. Remembering our place in the universe, we "Let Go and Let God."
 3. I'm thankful for not having the pressures of life weighing on my shoulders alone. I'm grateful for the serenity, tranquility and emotional safety I have as a result of my relationship with my family, my loved ones---my Balcony People and most importantly, my relationship with God. My joy transcends my circumstances, because my joy is found in Him, not my wiles or strength.  Am I glad, and grateful.