Good evening everyone,
It was a dramatic day, today. I prefer avoiding them, when possible. An intriguing conversation with someone I almost did business with, took place this afternoon; thank God for
our intuition---we need to trust it. Glad, I am, that I did.
A woman pressed upon me----expected me----to do a favor for her. Twice she asked me, while leaning into my personal space, to complete a financial transaction with her. It would "really help me out," she said. I did not answer immediately. I paused. That's better than reacting, giving in to her pressure tactics.
What shocked me was that I didn't even know her. The setting off the the red lights on my discernment dashboard, prompted me to say no. Each person is responsible for their own circumstances or feelings. It's not my job to rescue others, especially when someone is trying to force me to do so. You know what that's called, right? Manipulation.
The problem with being forced against our will is that we are not allowed to make choices. We are not allowed to be an adult. Choices are a basic right for adults and are necessary in my relationships with others. Having my own free will definitely meets my need for autonomy, safety, harmony and peace of mind and soul.
Other than violating these needs, manipulation is fine. :-> (You know I'm not serious.) I'm not interested in pleasing unpleasant people. I don't have "stupid" or "abuse me" tattooed across my forehead.
We are not being nice, when we give in to the demands of others. We are actually scarring them, if we do. Did you know that? We are empowering them to continue is their bullying ways, by allowing them to manipulate us.
Afterwards, that interesting and intense experience I met with someone I mentor. It was a welcomed antidote to the unpleasant meeting I had an hour earlier. In the evening, I invested time in a meeting that strengthens my business. A speaker inspired me with ideas that will add greater clarity to my finances.
My Gratitudes:
1. I've learned it's not my responsibility to take on other people's problems. We want to be responsive to, but not responsible for other people's struggles.
2. I'm thankful for discernment. It is more likely to happen when I pause instead of reacting to the pressures of others.
3. I'm grateful knowing that we don't need to sacrifice ourselves, in order to get the approval of others.
Because I have a community of supportive others, detaching from manipulative, angry, shaming or bullying others is easier to do. Bonding is necessary, before detaching is possible.
4. I placed principles and boundaries above intimidating personalities. I'm glad I adhere to my values and don't surrender them, when rattled. Some people become upset when my values do not accommodate theirs. It is their responsibility, not mine, to process their disappointment.
5. Today, I celebrate that I stood in my power, personal growth and integrity. You can read more about that here.
The day was eventful, but good. I saw several clients and also attended a class. For those who haven't read this post, I'm bumping it up. I first wrote it last year, in July. Let me know if you resonate with it.
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This lady is not opening her mouth for a dental checkup
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our intuition---we need to trust it. Glad, I am, that I did.
A woman pressed upon me----expected me----to do a favor for her. Twice she asked me, while leaning into my personal space, to complete a financial transaction with her. It would "really help me out," she said. I did not answer immediately. I paused. That's better than reacting, giving in to her pressure tactics.
What shocked me was that I didn't even know her. The setting off the the red lights on my discernment dashboard, prompted me to say no. Each person is responsible for their own circumstances or feelings. It's not my job to rescue others, especially when someone is trying to force me to do so. You know what that's called, right? Manipulation.
The problem with being forced against our will is that we are not allowed to make choices. We are not allowed to be an adult. Choices are a basic right for adults and are necessary in my relationships with others. Having my own free will definitely meets my need for autonomy, safety, harmony and peace of mind and soul.
Other than violating these needs, manipulation is fine. :-> (You know I'm not serious.) I'm not interested in pleasing unpleasant people. I don't have "stupid" or "abuse me" tattooed across my forehead.
We are not being nice, when we give in to the demands of others. We are actually scarring them, if we do. Did you know that? We are empowering them to continue is their bullying ways, by allowing them to manipulate us.
Afterwards, that interesting and intense experience I met with someone I mentor. It was a welcomed antidote to the unpleasant meeting I had an hour earlier. In the evening, I invested time in a meeting that strengthens my business. A speaker inspired me with ideas that will add greater clarity to my finances.
My Gratitudes:
1. I've learned it's not my responsibility to take on other people's problems. We want to be responsive to, but not responsible for other people's struggles.
2. I'm thankful for discernment. It is more likely to happen when I pause instead of reacting to the pressures of others.
3. I'm grateful knowing that we don't need to sacrifice ourselves, in order to get the approval of others.
Because I have a community of supportive others, detaching from manipulative, angry, shaming or bullying others is easier to do. Bonding is necessary, before detaching is possible.
4. I placed principles and boundaries above intimidating personalities. I'm glad I adhere to my values and don't surrender them, when rattled. Some people become upset when my values do not accommodate theirs. It is their responsibility, not mine, to process their disappointment.
5. Today, I celebrate that I stood in my power, personal growth and integrity. You can read more about that here.
Posts
2 comments:
Dear Pablo,
Thank you for faithfully posting your experience, strength, hope and gratitudes daily...an inspiration to us all!
Today I am grateful;
1. I could help my youngest son (19) rewrite his resume. With literary embellishment flying in every direction, I had a grand old time making him sound like the next Steve Jobs! Such a blast! Can't wait until he see's it!
2. I could catch up by phone with an old personal friend and business associate from Maryland who now resides in Southern California, not far from here.
3. I could host our (former Rebel Without A Cause...)most lively, volatile, creative and charismatic #3 son (23) for an afternoon/evening at home, Mom's homemade soup dinner, and then out to the movies with two of his three brothers. To witness civility learned and maturing in action is gratifying!
4. I can celebrate a dear friends delicate and fragrant romance as it blooms through these warm summer days, and cool, fog shrouded nights.
Dear Carl,
I appreciate your regular visits! I love the enthusiasm you have for the service you did for your son. I bet he's happy having you as his father.
Isn't it grand, seeing a loved one grow in their people skills? I'm happy for you, that you had a special time with your brood.
Carl, that's my phrase: "I celebrate.." lol
Wishing you a serene day today,
The Innkeeper
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