Tuesday, May 20

A Desired Fulfilled and Staying In the Solution .......... 5/20/14

Now, this is my kind of serenity.
       Today, a desire was fulfilled.  As worn out as I am, seeing something coming about---that I've been dreaming about for more than two years---puts a smile on my tired face.

       I'm thrilled!

       I pushed today, to make this hope happen.  Monday was a killer.  I ended up being depleted, emotionally and physically.  But what keeps me going is loving life and setting the course of my future.

    A difficult client, a rare occurrence for me, is helping me grow.   At least once every five minutes, or less---when with this person---I fantasize about ending the relationship.

                 I can no longer help you as I once did.

       Yes, I flirt with firing this person.  I've learned, that unless destitute, working with unpleasant people is unnecessary.  No need for torture.   I will not exhaust my emotional capital.

       As the Attitude of Gratitude guy---who sees everything from a positive point of view---working with this guy stretches me.  Standing my ground, exercising boundaries, practicing patience, is what takes place.

         I don't ply my trade with people who perpetually place themselves in the victim mode, which this person is good at.  Presenting ourselves this way prevents us from seeing our contribution.
 "Acting like a victim is a  choice, not a destiny."                          Hope for Today, p 189.
       He irritates when he says, "I don't think you understand that........"   Then why see me?   I find this comment similar to finding my car stuck behind a double parked vehicle on a narrow, busy street, in San Francisco, and waiting for fifteen cars in the next lane to pass by, before getting around this vehicular dilemma.

       Last session, I asked if his past efforts have been ineffective. "No," he said.  I suggested we needed to move away from such efforts. We cannot become the person we want to be, by behaving the way we always have.

       He craves revisiting past miseries. That doesn't  work for me.  Focusing on our travails only make these moments loom larger and more disturbing.

      "We will only talk about a problem once.  After that, I will not hear any more about it," I said.   He wore a stunned look.  His eyes blinkingly looked up, with disbelief, while keeping his head down.

       "From then on, we will only talk about the solutions to that problem," I continued.

       For the rest of our session, we looked at healthy, practical alternatives that helped overcome a vexing problem of his.  Depression.  At the end of the session he was happier and felt lighter.

My Gratitudes:
1.  For the strength to hold on to my convictions, regardless of the pressure or persuasions thrown my way.
2.  For seeing my client move beyond victimhood.
3.  For expressing my voice, not giving in to someone who tried to get his way by bullying.

How About You?
What are your three gratitudes for today? 


Superman said...

Dear Innkeeper,
I am grateful for:
1. Spending time with my mother, as we attended a memorial service today, for a person who had an impact on the local, Portuguese community.

2. The short walk on a trail next to a beautiful creek, this morning.

3. The opportunity to rehearse "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," on guitar, with my oldest son on ukulele, for his grandmother's party this Saturday, who turned 99 a couple of weeks ago.

Pablo said...

Dear Superman,

How sweet it must have been, having time with your mom. I bet she'll cherish the time you spent with her.

It's good hearing you are making time for yourself. It's a terrific investment and sanity saver.

You were a bridge today. Connecting with the previous and upcoming generations. Kudos to you, for being available for your family. You must feel good, connecting with those you love.

I also learned something new about Superman: he's Portuguese. You secret is safe here. :->

Thanks Superman, for dropping by, reading and posting three gratitudes---making my day!!

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.