Monday, June 20

Feeling Good (And Escaping Codependency)

      Did this glass get your attention?  Good.  This post may not go where you think. Today, I am happy.  I helped a needed cause.  The proceeds of Saturday's garage sale supports a resource that helps adult children of alcoholics.  It's a meeting where attendees learn coping skills----how to thrive while living----or having lived----with a manipulative, and perhaps abusive,
alcoholic. (Yes, it's possible to thrive.)

      Those who join this group learn how to exercise boundaries, with love-----detaching while still being kind towards the alcoholic. They are taught how to take care of themselves and look at the resources available to them, not the alcoholic.  Individuals living ---or have lived---in such homes frequently experience(d) trauma and drama, throughout their lives.

       Usually their boundaries were trampled upon, while living in such a home.  Many were not aware of boundaries or how to use them.  The surprising fact is that frequently, these individuals often experience more emotional abuse from the non-alcoholic siblings, spouse or parent.  Frequently non-alcoholic tries using control to minimize the chaos of a home devastated by alcohol.

      Tragically, family members of alcoholics are groomed to tend to the alcoholic, not themselves. (This is as codependency.)  This meeting provides a safe, non-critical environment.  Members learn their options, instead of accommodating the needs of  the drinker.

       Members learn to let go of the past. They discover how to stay present, unencumbered by the scars of ancient emotions.  Exercising healthier priorities becomes their reality.  They learn that alcoholism, and all of its attendant drama, is a family disease.

       Yes, the effects of alcoholism negatively affects the entire family.  However, the good news is skills are available that allow family members to enjoy serene and abundant lives while processing the grief and loss they experience as they relate with the problemed drinker.

        So, yes, helping a worthy cause made this a fabulous weekend for me.  Helping others really  benefits us.  When that happens, we have more reasons for an Attitude of Gratitude.

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Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.