Good afternoon!
Welcome to all who drop by this inn of thanksgiving. Don't you like the pictures on the walls? They are the work of the Englishman, Tim Blessed, a gifted photographer. Sprucing up this place in cyberspace is fun.
A marvelous week, this was. Seeing myself getting stronger, characterologically, nurtures my optimism. Emotional dust storms happened this week, when relating with others. That's when the fun began. I'm not saying this because I like drama. Far from it.
As we grow in our relationships with others, difficulties become opportunities for spiritual weight lifting. We learn how to exercise strength----applying healthy principles---even with those who are hurtful. What a deal!
We fortify ourselves when we lay aside inadequate ways of coping. They surface, when we react, instead of responding. Resentment, fear, passivity, anger and procrastination can be found lurking around the emotional corner, if we aren't careful.
However, our emotional muscles get stronger when mentors assist us and we apply healthy principles. Traveling life's path includes the bumps and dips of conflicts with others. The road of life become smoother when we place disciplined responses to this rocky road. Read here, for more about that.
We become better, not bitter, when connecting with emotionally mature, supportive others, also known as our Balcony People. See footnote. Challenges that one time frightened us, are seen for what they are, moments where we can place principles above the weaker parts of our soul.
Sometimes life is a matter of taking it in 15 minutes increments. There are times when taking it one day at a time is more than we can handle. Life is good, when we are gentle with ourselves. Acknowledging the healthy steps we are taking---even if they are tiny, is one perspective that moves us towards progress, tranquility and happiness.
As we get stronger, feeling better about our values, choices, dreams and decisions, we're able to politely and firmly, disagree with others. We can process conflicts that at one time would have been disturbing. For more insight and skills that help when encountering a difficult or frustrating situation, click here. Especially look at what's written in purple."Perhaps I can let go of all condemnation for this one day. I will recognize that I am on a spiritual path of self-improvement. Every tiny step I take on that path moves me closer to wholeness, health, and serenity." Al-Anon Family Groups Inc., Courage to Change, 2nd Edit., Virginia Beach, 1992, 19. Print.
For most of us, conflicts are few and far between. Lately, it hasn't been so, for me. During such times, the following is helpful:
After years of letting people take advantage of me, I had built up quite a store of anger, resentment, and guilt . …. So many times I wanted to bite off my tongue after saying,“yes, “ when I really wanted to say, “no.” Why did I continue to deny my own feelings just to gain someone’s approval? ….
The answer became apparent: What I lacked was courage. Was I willing to try to learn to say, “no,” when I meant no? Was I willing to accept that not everyone would be thrilled with this change? Was I willing to face the real me behind the people-pleasing image? Fed up with volunteering to be treated like a door mat, I squared my shoulders and answered, “Yes.”
..... Do I make a conscious choice about what I say? And when it is appropriate, do I say what I mean and mean what I say? If not, why not? All I have to offer anyone is my own experience of the truth.
Have a great and grateful day, I will. Remember, we are the average of the five people we hang out with. We want to make sure they are emotionally mature, healthy, kind and positive. We deserve relationships like that, we really do.‘There is a price that is too great to pay for peace…One cannot pay the price of self-respect.' Woodrow Wilson Courage, 207
How About You?
What spiritual weightlifting have you been doing? Where are you been placing principles above your personality? I'd love hearing from you, even if it's years after this was posted. Really.
What a gift it has been, seeing my supportive family expand, as time goes by. Not only have I a flesh-and-blood family, but an expanded family due to others who are a part of my life. They are my Balcony People.
These dear ones love and accept me unconditionally, they are in the grandstands of my life, cheering me on, as I run the marathon of life. Best of all, they don't give me advice. They may share their experience, strength and hope, when I ask. More importantly they empathize and are simply available.
Image: Countryside: "Wintry Pastoral" by Tim Blessed. All rights reserved, used by permission.
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2 comments:
I'm assuming you're still taking gratitudes?
1.) I'm grateful for my courage.
2.) I'm grateful for the sweet things my son says ("You're the best mother in history.").
3. I'm grateful for the rain we received this week- the most since January of this year!
Kelly,
Hooray, great to see you! I wrote in my most recent post, to you, not aware that you were writing at that very moment, doing what I said you do.
Great minds think alike.
You've my prayers. I'm glad you are taking care of yourself, as mentioned elsewhere----you told others what you wanted. Ya ay!
"Courage faces fear and thereby masters it."
Isn't it fantastic, when your child gushes out his gratitude for you?!
Here's to more rain in Texas. Did I ever tell you I have relatives in Texas?
Wishing you the best,
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