Overcoming a Visit From a Ghost of the Past................ 9/17/15

         Nine days ago, it happened.

        The circum-stances took a long time in appearing.  The tension that came with it, the sick, empty feeling in my stomach, soured the evening.  At least, initially.

        It didn't get better until I took care of myself, shutting things down, literally.  The feelings brought the return of a companion who hadn't visited in years.  Cold sweat appeared, another uninvited guest.

Peace comes not from the absence
of conflict, but from our ability
to cope with it. 

        It took place while immersed in thought, studying at the kitchen table.  That's when I heard it.  Was this unset-tling noise blasting from a neighbor's radio?

       I heard two young women scream-ing from there a month ago.  This happened while spending time with a friend.  Was the commotion coming from the neighbor next door?

       The screeching wasn't from my neighbor's house.

        The ruckus took place from the house diagonally across the street. Stepping outside, the source of the emotionally disturbing distraction became clear. The source of the profanity-laced screaming did not blare from an adult TV cable program within ear-shot.

       The banshee lived there.

       She's a chubby blonde college coed with a ponytail.  She lives in a house with a fire hydrant in front of it.  Vile obscenities screamed for two hours.

        She hollered about not having a car.  This only child made her case with her parents. Later that week, a third auto, a used blueish-silver one, appeared on their driveway. 

      There won't be yelling for a while, I hope.

    Sad memories revisited me when hearing the commo-tion that evening. The recollections were not of screams.  The ten-sion, negativity, and the duration of the young woman's tirade haunted me.

      The feeling of helplessness pulled at my stomach.  Ancient negative emotions, unwelcomed guests, visited that noisy evening.  The drama set off alarms within my body.  This unpleasant evening had me thank-ful I am surrounded by loving, emotionally healthy friends.

     Warm memories, joy, enjoying a solid supportive network replace dark moments from my past.

     Freedom from acrimony I enjoy.  The result of cour-ageous steps I took thirteen years ago.  I left a toxic relation-ship.

      I am free from disturbing emotions, like those erupting from the house with the fire hydrant.  The tension of the other night created knots within my feelings that, for years, had been untied. The emotionally violent evening birthed tremendous gratitude for harmony.

      The yelling across the street had me celebrating healthy relation-ships, which fuel my life with emotional safety, positive connections with others, and celebrating life.   My supportive network strengthens me.  I know intimacy, not condemning attacks from those seeking their way at the expense of my feelings.

    I had forgotten the negative life I once knew.

     Many years have passed since being trapped in a negative relationship.  The screams piercing that awful night did not rob me of the joy I know.  Peace of mind remains my comforting friend.

      I shut the windows that evening, almost calling the police about the disturbance.  I studied instead, nurturing myself.

Gratitudes:
1. Peace comes not from the absence of conflict but from our ability to cope with it. I took care of myself on that awful night.
2.  We may not control our circum-stances, but we control our responses.
3.  For not being addicted to drama. If we want to, we can see a film at the theater.  That way, we leave it there when returning home.
4.  For rest and sleep.
5.  For being in touch with my body, easing up on my schedule when emotionally and physically depleted.

How About You? 
What are your gratitudes for today?