Connecting With Our Feelings---Not Our Head---Is Necessary, Before Seeing Progress With Life's Problems .................................10/7/12

Today I know that I cannot control the ocean tides.  I can only go with the flow. . . . When I struggle and try to organize the Atlantic to my specifications, I sink.  If I flail and thrash and growl and grumble, I go under.  But, if I let go and float, I am borne aloft.      Marie Stilkind

    I've reworked something I posted earlier this week. I love
it when I do. I like it when something I write takes on a life of its own, moving its way through my fingers, into the keyboard and into
this inn.  The following is an example of Second Day Lasagna.  I hope it nourishes you.
     To stay in shape however, and not allow the carbs of this pasta of thought weigh us down, it's best applying what we read. :->

     Here's wishing you a terrific Sunday, and an even better week.           The Innkeeper

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The Importance of the Three A's
         I celebrate the sanity I enjoy when I look at life realistically. This is awareness. It's a good start, but incomplete by itself.  It's eighty-eight percent of the answer, when dealing with a problem. No improvements happen without us first seeing the issue.

        It's important, too, avoiding Defensive Hope.  For more about this subject, vital for happiness and healthier, fulfilling relationships, please read here.  You'll be glad you did.

        Awareness allows me to deal with the challenges I face, my vulnerabilities and life's disappointments.  I'm happy. I'm seeing progress in these areas. My learning curve is spiking upwards. Circumstances that would linger for months, perhaps years, are now noted and dealt with within two months. That's improvement in my book.

Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly.  Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate, or despise, serves to defeat us in the end.  What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind.  Every moment is a golden one for those who have the vision to recognize it as such.              Henry Miller

        But just as important, I need to transcend beyond awareness. Acceptance is needed, too. This involves taking awareness's perspective and dealing with it's emotional impact. Our feelings are an area frequently neglected in our mind-oriented society.  Abundant living happens when I feed this important part of me.

        If I don't camp upon acceptance for awhile, I'm only trimming the shrub of my problems; they are guaranteed to grow back.

       Acceptance, feeling my emotions about an issue, grieving them, and letting these negative sentiments go---often through forgiveness---is rooting out the problem.  The issue is less likely to persistently pop up and perturb our present life when we include this step----dealing with the problem, emotionally.  Acceptance is ten percent of remedying a problem.

      Action follows Awareness and Acceptance, it's the remaining two percent of solving life's challenges.  Why only two percent, you ask?  Because, when we have awareness and acceptance, action naturally follows, without much effort.

      There you have it, the Three A's.   Awareness deals with the head, Acceptance relates to our heart and Action with the feet---what we do---as we walk and run along the road of life.

      The critical point: most of us go straight from awareness to action. "Oh. this is the problem, and such-and such steps I need to take..."

       A bad idea.

      That's often the result of having a fine mind, unfortunately. "Don't just do something, sit there and wait," to play upon a common saying often used by an impatient, demanding, or task oriented individual.  Without acceptance, looking at the emotional roots, and remedying the problem at this level---not just cognitively---it is impossible to root out the problemed areas in our lives. They will return.

       Have you ever taken time to ask yourself why you isolate, have resentment or self-loathe?  There's a payoff, when we find ourselves with these or other negative feelings/behaviors. We don't do anything, if they didn't have a reward.

       Connecting with my emotions, looking at the payoff or reward for unacceptable behavior or unhealthy thinking helps me see where my thinking is diseased. Here, the indispensable role of having Balcony People comes to play. Interacting with discerning and wise ones among them provides me the emotional and psychological distance necessary to look at my character defects, without rationalizing or justifying them.

     Only then am I able to see better alternatives.  The Three A's, and connecting with my personal community allow me to move beyond behavior and thoughts that prevent me from enjoying life. When I do, I'll find my character improving and growth in my Attitude of Gratitude.