Calmness In the Eye of the Emotional Storm, Part VI ..10/10/12

      The past few months have been a inspiring time of personal growth and learning.  More importantly, its been a time where I've seen the value of
nurturing the formerly wounded child that once dominated my emotions whenever I felt threatened.  This summer, during intense negative circumstances, I had equanimity.

       What a change.

       Now, I'm at peace in areas that once were susceptible to fear, especially in areas that remember painful youthful experiences.  Thankfully, a positive, affirming love fills the void once occupied by apprehension.  My emotional vitality is the fruit of diligent hard work for more than nine years.

        In that time, I've planted, grew and nurtured healthy relationships.  I used the seeds of adhering to boundaries and principles.  The harvest of emotional ease and safety, knowing closeness and delighting in authentic, intimate relationships----that are not sexualized, allows for intimacy of the soul that few know and has sated my emotional belly.  It's also a relief, being delivered from the mental and emotional disease of codependency.

       This emotional maturity is marvelous, making me the happy innkeeper I am.  This love, given to me by God, family and dear friends----my Balcony People----provides emotional stability, serenity and safety, enabling me to push through difficult times.

       Something else has helped, too.  I'm taking care of my vulnerable self, nurturing and strengthening this part of me.  It's disturbing how frequently conditional love is doled out by parents----"if you jump through hoops---- perform well----we'll approve of you."  Sadly, this is the experience of many, growing up.

        Doing well in school, sports, playing a musical instrument, success---in whatever way a parent considered "well"----was necessary, if a child was to be praised. That's tragic.  Children unconsciously absorb this mentality, carrying unhealthy beliefs into adulthood. Many are culturally coerced into codependency, trained to be externally referented. Yes, that is a word.  For more about this subject, please read any of these links.

      Children, and others, should not be treated like little monkeys wearing flat-topped caps who must dance, before the organ grinder of life feeds them peanuts of praise.

      I'm thrilled my sons have a different legacy.  They are loved simply because of who they are.  That's it.  If they never accomplish anything---my love for them would not diminish, they same holds true for my friends.

      I cherish my three sons unconditionally. The bond shared is my most treasured earthly privilege, along with the loving relationship I have with the God of my understanding.

      As  young man of fourteen, I encountered a loving, gracious and forgiving God.  He's been with me ever since.  I'm thankful for my wallk with the Almighty, without it, I would not be who I am.

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       Those on a boat, overwhelmed by the severe tossing of a hellacious storm, have two responses--- be agitated, distracted, and panic, or keep their cool, and do what's necessary to make it to shore.

        Who do you think will be most successful in overcoming the situation?  You are right, the one who keeps his wits. This summer, that's been my response when engulfed by upsetting circumstances that forcefully foisted themselves upon my psyche and feelings.

        My mantra during difficult seasons of life has been, "Don't think.  Just put one foot in front of the other."  It works.  Am I glad.  I accomplish more than I believe possible, when I persevere and not perseverate.

        This happens when I exercise patience towards my limitations and the characterological areas needing growth.  As a result, I overcome challenges.  I focused on healthy alternatives that transcended vulnerabilities and negative behaviors that once defeated me.

        Ya ay!

        It feels good, being loved, supported and undergirded by a loving God and good friends---my  Balcony People.  It's terrific, finding a safe harbor, moving beyond the rough seas that once tossed and disturbed my serenity and joy.

My Gratitudes for this Lovely Day:
1. I got another new client.  That's two in two days. I'm thankful for God's provision.  Neither my job nor my paycheck are my provision.  God is.
2. I rode my bike today with someone I mentor.  It was a rigorous and windy ride, but good.
3. I'll sleep well tonight. Exercise always helps me rest. It gets me tuckered out.
4. I had a terrific time of fellowship this evening with my mentee.
5. I did not get angry, this evening while with someone who constantly complains (not the person I mentor).
6. My baseball team, the SF Giants are doing wonderfully. I'm taking a break from work and shall watch the game tomorrow morning.  Go Giants!
7. I love having priorities and the order they create.  They help me to focus on action that will produce the greatest bang for the time I invest.

How About You?
Are you finding yourself at peace with yourself? If so, what helps you to know tranquility?
I'd love hearing from you,