The Year In Review 12/31/14

   This year in review:

1. Life was richer. My soul soared more than ever.  I had more excellent times with loved ones, clients and friends than any other year.
2. I wrote more

A Reflective, Grateful Innkeeper 12/30/14

      I am not quite sure who I am today.  I've gone through a lot lately. More about that when I have time to write and clear out my head.  Below are gratitudes for today.

1.  For personal growth.  I am different than I was two years ago,  five months ago, than I was last

week. I have a greater inner peace than I realized.  Mine has been strong for decades. Now, it guards my heart in ways

Roses for Ashes 12/30/14

        A bittersweet time was had Sun-day.  I let go of a relationship, sweetly.  Love accompanied sorrow, connection partnered with sepa-ation.  The visit had laughter and tears stirred together.  Ashes of loss birthed four bouquets of

Inventory of the Past Week............ 12/27/14

      How was your Christmas?  Mine was fine, spent with someone dear Thurs-day morning and with the family in the afternoon, evening.  This holi-day will linger until

My Favorite Christmas Story... 12/25/14

Today's illustrations are from my favorite
Christmas book,The Christ Child, Illustrated
by Miska and Maud Petersham 

     Merry Christmas.  I hope each guest of this inn had a lovely day.  I did.  What is Christmas?  Nope, it isn't about gifts.  It's about one Gift,
Christ.  This holiday is about God taking on human form, dwelling among us, full of grace and truth.  (John 1:14) I know for many this is no longer true.

     Thank you, for visiting this year. Inspired and encouraged, is my

Arriving at Clarity... 12/23/14

Gratitudes For This Evening:
1.  Met with friends tonight.  Lovely.  The subject was one we all connected with: feelings.
2.  Visited Christmas Lane in the island town of Alameda.  A wonder for the eyes.
3.  This week is the

My Second Favorite Christmas Story 12/22/14

     In keeping with our countdown for Christmas, I present this story.  If you missed the previous season-related tale, my third favorite, you can find it here.  

     I wrote this in 2011, presenting it on Christmas Eve, here.  I'm making it

My Third Favorite Christmas Story 12/21/14

WWII photo of the Ardennes Forest

      Good evening, one and all. I hope life is treating you well. For many, this is a frantic, mater-ialistic season.       
             
        Needn't be so.  In the inn, we're having a countdown for the biggest day of this month.  For this, and the next two days, I am sharing stories I've written related to this season.  My  hope is to

Expressing Feelings and Values, Not Acting Like The Codependent Person I Was Groomed to Be ....................12/20/14

           I visited a blog Friday night.  Appal-led.  No emotions expressed. What was written was theore-tical, giving the semblance of thoughts of an unim-aginative college student writing a college paper.  As tasty as distilled water.  Honesty, vulnerability or transparency were

A Recently Upset Innkeeper. Five Lessons Learned.......... 12/17/14

2x4

       I am upset.  [Innkeeper's Note: No longer true, after re-writing this post and outlining my thoughts Thursday morning.] That's okay.  It's good being emotional disturbed----the alternative is worse, not in tune with our feelings.  It is im-portant ,for our mental health, feel-ing the enormity

of our emotions. With recovery we can, without being

Patience Tested---I Am Getting Stronger ....... 12/16/14

          Full day of work, depleting me emotionally and physically.  I'm worn out. Wasted time this evening, prepping and driving to Alameda to see a client. She bailed out, due to depression.  Maintained my peace of mind, in spite of this happening.

         Pushed on, pushing a

The Value and Joy Known When Internally Referented......... 12/15/14

     It's been awhile since I have written about external referenting, not referencing.  Check the labels at the bottom of this inn. There are several listings about this concept.  Often, we are this way when

Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?..... 12/13/14

You may feel that the world is too messed up, that too

many wrong choices have been made,that it doesn't

matter much what you do, that it's hopeless. But that's

not true. Just as every problem can be traced to a wrong

decision, every solution begins with a wise and loving

decision to do the right thing, the loving and unselfish

thing.

A little bit of love can make a lot of difference. One act

of kindness or unselfishness can start a whole chain re-

action of events that will, in the long run, make life a

lot better for a lot of people. So don't despair because

there is so much suffering and grief and wrong in the

 world. Instead, do what you can to make things right

and encourage others to do the same. The world won't

 change in a day, but we can make a difference if we

try. (Photographer's caption) All rights reserved.

Saturday's Gratitudes:

1. I made time for me.  I had a migraine headache last night.  I slowed down today.
2. I'm thankful for discernment that allows me to avoid others who are not good for me.
3. Rain.  Plenty of it.  We needed it.  I also like how creates a different mood.  It makes hunkering down and reading a pleasure to do.
4. Wrote a letter today.  I enjoy letter writing.

The Innkeeper Was A Burglar......... 12/11/14

     Yesterday I was a burglar.  At least two people thought I was.   I wasn't appre-hended.  As I type, I am not  handcuffed.  A fellow saw me, calling the owner of the house on her cell phone, while I made a visit.

      On the door, I rapped.  Since this event, I was told this is the burglar way.  This is what the police told the homeowner.  At least I did that right.

      Inside, the dog barked viciously, growling also.  Normally,

An Un-American Concept, We Are Primarily Spiritual, Revisited ......... 12/9/14

Image: "Snowdonia: Nantgwynant" by Tim Blessed.

 All rights reserved. Use by permission.

        I am re-posting what you find below.  It is one of the all-time favorite posts written, number six.  You may not have read it yet or were not around when I wrote it three years ago, this last November.   Here it is:

        I'll share a few thoughts interspers-ed with recounting a day that was demanding, emotionally and mentally.

        I prefer days like these to be few and far between.  A calmer pace allows my

Dips and Turns Are The Stuff of Life. Avoided the Fangs Of An Emotional Vampire 1,000th Post ......... 12/8/14

The Giant Dipper at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk

Innkeeper's Note:  This post is the one thousandth. Wow.  And I have sixty-three drafts I haven't posted.   I like celebrating milestones.

     Thank you, for your visits.  It means much, making what I do here

Ten Antidotes to Worry, Fear ........ 12/6/14

   I am tired.Con-cerned.  Worried even.  I will focus on what makes me thankful.
Gratitudes:
1.    Not reacting or catastrophizing when hangups appear.
2.    For love received from

Ten Things That Make For a Healthier Relationship. What's Happening With The Innkeeper........ ................. 12/4/14

  What have I learned lately?  How about this:

1.  Speak truth.  But, do so gently.  "The mouth of the wise commends knowledge. But from the mouth of the fool gushes folly." Proverbs 15:2
2.  Be present.  Share what is alive within me, graciously.  This means not being triggered or motivated by fear.  Presence is possible when we are

It Is Never My Responsibility To......... Revisited 12/3/14

         Good evening, the following has been around for a while---three years last November.  It's so old you may have overlooked it. I am re-posting it, for those new to the inn and those who need their consciousness to breathe in the principles sprinkled below.

         This passage is about being truly internally referented. Yes, that is an actual word. It's about taking care of ourselves---not losing who we are because of our relationships with others. 

          May you have a great, vibrant, rest of the week as you seize life, not letting it meekly pass you by.          The Innkeeper

"Amidst the constant turmoil and drama that surrounds us, as we live life, many
stop noticing what is going on with themselves.  Something more important and
life threatening always seems to intervene.  When we acknowledge a situation as
 it is, we want look at our options instead of looking at the options available to
other people."   Courage to Change, p.359

The following are general principles from Al-Anon Family Groups. I'm sure they
 will help when trying to figure out our responsibility in our relationships with others. 

It Is Never My Responsibility To: 

G

ive what I really don’t want to give

Sacrifice my integrity to anyone

Do more than I have time to do

Making Amends, Better Than Apologies...... 12/1/14

Innkeeper's Note:  Amends. Far superior to apologies.  Best way to restore fractured rela-tionships.  I wrote the following three-and-a-half years ago.  Still a good subject.  Let me know your thoughts.  Here it is: 

**********

     Amends is a source of emo-tional and psychological relief, ridding us of unnecessary guilt. 

      It's rewarding, to have the

support of caring friends and family members.  I enjoy growth when I embrace the diffi-cult parts of life.  Such as making things suitable with someone I offended.

     Earlier today, I met with a friend I've known for 30+ years.  I learned of issues requiring mending with his wife.  She's held a grudge for more than fifteen years.  I had no idea. I like