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| "It is not whether your words or actions are tough or gentle; it is the spirit behind your actions and words that announces your inner state." -- Chin-Ning Chu |
Lowell Cohn's response to feedback he got from other readers for being sarcastic. Yesterday, in this post of mine, I shared with my readers what I wrote him about his use of it. I don't approve of sarcasm, at any time.
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." -- Mother Teresa (1910-1997)
I believe in non-violent communication and try to use it when communicating. If you want to know more about this subject, read here, too. Lowell's reaction to what I wrote yesterday and today was pretty good. I appreciate the openness and honesty, along with the courtesy he demonstrated.Bear with me, please, today's subject is not about sports, but a dialog about using ridicule---sarcasm, to be exact---when expressing ourselves.
"A careless word may kindle strife,
A cruel word may wreck a life,
A timely word may lessen stress,
A loving word may heal and bless."
Some Zohn readers are sore at me because I referred to Jim Harbaugh as Jimmy. Some are more than sore. Some are
outraged. You would have thought I accused Harbaugh of murdering babies.
outraged. You would have thought I accused Harbaugh of murdering babies.
Some wrote I lost my journalistic objectivity by belittling Harbaugh with the nickname Jimmy. I’ve got news for you. I
have no objectivity. I am an opinion writer and my opinions
are all over my prose.... I may upset you.
have no objectivity. I am an opinion writer and my opinions
are all over my prose.... I may upset you.
I reveal my opinions in different ways. Sometimes I just come
out and write what I think. Sometimes I use satire or irony or sarcasm — take your pick. When I call Harbaugh Jimmy I’m
using one of the aforementioned.
out and write what I think. Sometimes I use satire or irony or sarcasm — take your pick. When I call Harbaugh Jimmy I’m
using one of the aforementioned.
Here is my distinction between Jim Harbaugh and Jimmy.
Jim Harbaugh is the professional coach who did a great job at Stanford and has done a great job at the 49ers. I respect coaches who do a great job. I respect Jim Harbaugh, the coach.
Jimmy is the guy who reveals himself to the media too much of the time. He would reveal himself to you, too, if you hung
around him any amount of time. Jimmy is the 11 year old inside of Coach Harbaugh. You remember what it was like when you
were 11. You were self-conscious. You were secretive. You might have thought people were scheming behind your back.You might have been a touch paranoid. Your remarks sometimes were out of context, rude even, and you had trouble reading a room.
Jim Harbaugh is the professional coach who did a great job at Stanford and has done a great job at the 49ers. I respect coaches who do a great job. I respect Jim Harbaugh, the coach.
Jimmy is the guy who reveals himself to the media too much of the time. He would reveal himself to you, too, if you hung
around him any amount of time. Jimmy is the 11 year old inside of Coach Harbaugh. You remember what it was like when you
were 11. You were self-conscious. You were secretive. You might have thought people were scheming behind your back.You might have been a touch paranoid. Your remarks sometimes were out of context, rude even, and you had trouble reading a room.
Jimmy, as I experience him, has the tendencies I enumerated. Jim Harbaugh is a grown man but Jimmy is a kid. I might have fun shooting hoops with Jimmy or drinking milk and eating Ding Dongs with him, but he’s hard to cover for a serious writer like me because he’s snide and secretive and just plain
rude and evasive. And none of this helps his coaching in spite of what some readers believe. Jimmy could be much more professional and he’d still win loads of games. In the process of being more professional he would better represent the 49ers.
When Harbaugh acts like Jim Harbaugh, I will call him Harbaugh on my blog. When he acts like Jimmy, I will at times call him Jimmy. I encourage Jim Harbaugh to excise his inner Jimmy. I know Jimmy way too well. I long to know Jim Harbaugh.
rude and evasive. And none of this helps his coaching in spite of what some readers believe. Jimmy could be much more professional and he’d still win loads of games. In the process of being more professional he would better represent the 49ers.
When Harbaugh acts like Jim Harbaugh, I will call him Harbaugh on my blog. When he acts like Jimmy, I will at times call him Jimmy. I encourage Jim Harbaugh to excise his inner Jimmy. I know Jimmy way too well. I long to know Jim Harbaugh.
The Innkeeper's response, published in Lowell's blog was:
Lowell,
First, thanks for your reply to my comment regarding your
attitude and sarcasm toward Mr. Harbaugh. I understand your point of view. But, that doesn’t mean I agree with it. I don’t.
Secondly, I’m not sore at you for what you’ve written. No one
can make me happy, sad, sore or any other feeling without my giving them permission to do so. I don’t let others have power
over my feelings.
Your reaction to Jim Harbaugh simply allows me to know your values and worldview.
Thirdly, I disagree. I don’t believe two wrongs make a right.
When encountering your situation—dealing with a less than pleasant person, I don’t take it personally. What’s wrong with
the eye-for-an-eye mentality is that it makes all those involved half-blind, not a favorable outcome.
I don’t look for a loaf of bread when I go to Home Depot. If a professional coach’s behavior or communication style is less
than ideal, I’d accept it, which means I consider my options. I
have choices.
If I were a writer for a paper, I could talk with other coaches on
the Niners team or the players. Or I could cover another subject. I’ve learned that I’m powerless over all the nouns and pronouns
in my life—people, places and things. That would include Jim Harbaugh.
Coming to that conclusion provides me with plenty of serenity
and sanity. Getting agitated towards others is like using a
rocking chair. It gives me plenty to do but it gets me no where.
Thanks for the dialog—at least you are spurring conversation and piquing interest in your blog.
Lowell Cohn's Response: September 5th, 2012 2:17 pm
Pablo, Thanks for your comments. They are a pleasure to read
and they make me think and re-evaluate.September 5th, 2012 2:21
attitude and sarcasm toward Mr. Harbaugh. I understand your point of view. But, that doesn’t mean I agree with it. I don’t.
Secondly, I’m not sore at you for what you’ve written. No one
can make me happy, sad, sore or any other feeling without my giving them permission to do so. I don’t let others have power
over my feelings.
Your reaction to Jim Harbaugh simply allows me to know your values and worldview.
Thirdly, I disagree. I don’t believe two wrongs make a right.
When encountering your situation—dealing with a less than pleasant person, I don’t take it personally. What’s wrong with
the eye-for-an-eye mentality is that it makes all those involved half-blind, not a favorable outcome.
I don’t look for a loaf of bread when I go to Home Depot. If a professional coach’s behavior or communication style is less
than ideal, I’d accept it, which means I consider my options. I
have choices.
If I were a writer for a paper, I could talk with other coaches on
the Niners team or the players. Or I could cover another subject. I’ve learned that I’m powerless over all the nouns and pronouns
in my life—people, places and things. That would include Jim Harbaugh.
Coming to that conclusion provides me with plenty of serenity
and sanity. Getting agitated towards others is like using a
rocking chair. It gives me plenty to do but it gets me no where.
Thanks for the dialog—at least you are spurring conversation and piquing interest in your blog.
Lowell Cohn's Response: September 5th, 2012 2:17 pm
Pablo, Thanks for your comments. They are a pleasure to read
and they make me think and re-evaluate.September 5th, 2012 2:21
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"One life showing the way is better than ten tongues trying to explain it."
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