A Full and Joyous Day, Experiencing Support From All Sides. Also, Sarcasm Confronted Publicly, In Print ................................9/5/12

Image: "Cumbria: Over Rydal Lake" by Tim Blessed. Copyrighted photograph. 

   Tuesday, a columnist for a local newspaper wrote the following. Don't get too caught up with the content. I just want to share my
response to his sarcasm.

Matt Barrows, God love him, broke the news that Parys Haralson tore a triceps and had season-ending surgery. That ends a mystery that should not have been a mystery. Jimmy Harbaugh confirmed the triceps injury this morning on radio. Good for Jimmy. Before that, Jimmy said Paralson was working through some things. I immediately imagined the big guy on the psychiatrist’s couch.

Note to Jimmy Harbaugh:

Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it? I’m talking about telling the truth in this matter. The world didn’t end, nothing like that. You do well when you use your words, Jimmy. I encourage you to use them more.

Lowell is referring to Jim Harbaugh, the coach of the San Francisco Forty-Niners football team.

My reply:

I’m uncomfortable with your post. Calling him Jimmy sounds patronizing. No one calls you Lowie or Lowwy, do they?

I don’t see a need for sarcasm. I find it best to simply ask for what you want. Sarcasm is an indirect form of communication. I know you disagree with me on that point. That’s fine, if you do.

Usually, sarcasm appeals to shaming or belittling. Most people are not motivated by that approach. Instead they will either freeze— I know Harbaugh won’t— become hostile or passive. Expressing your need for honesty, open communication, authenticity, would be better.

I don’t expect you to change, but I find sarcasm entirely unnecessary.

September 4th, 2012 5:32 pm

Mr. Cohn's reply to my comment:

Pablo, Thank you for your sincere note. I truly appreciate it and I concede you are correct and you are being mature about your attitude toward sarcasm. And I was sarcastic. Remember I am a New Yorker and I come from a verbally aggressive culture. This is not an excuse, but it is an explanation. Here’s the main point. Harbaugh is verbally evasive, snide, blunt, and just plain rude to the media. I am the only one who takes exception to his conduct and I take pride in that, and the others should be ashamed of how they absorb his bad behavior. I am giving back to Harbaugh what he deserves and what he has earned. When he acts better, more professional, polite, he can expect me to change my approach to him.

September 4th, 2012 5:47 pm

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        This is the innkeeper, again. Sarcasm uses several of the five forms of Life Alienating Communication: blame, shame, fear, guilt or judgment.  Shaming, and judgment are at least two of the forms exercised, when being sarcastic.

        Do you know the root for the word sarcasm? It means to flay the flesh of a person. The Latin word is sarx. It is the same root for the word sarcophagus. That doesn't sound kind to me.  I'd rather treat others with dignity and respect, while adhering to my values. Returning evil for evil doesn't work.  The centuries filled with warfare attest to its ineffectiveness.
My Gratitudes for Today
1. I rode my bike 38 miles (61 km) Sunday, 45 miles (72.5) Monday and 25 miles (40 km) today (Tuesday).
        It relieves stress, it contributes to my health, and I sleep better, when I do.  Amazing vistas unfold before me when I cycle. I'm caressed by the bay breeze, surrounded by weeping willows, wildlife, water, lagoons and water fowl.  The weather where I live is warm and lovely, devoid of humidity.
2. Using the phone, I had several business meetings. I met with people from out of state, starting at 4:00 a.m.  I like the challenges these meetings provide---I'm being stretched in a good way. Seeing my growing competency is rewarding, too.
3. I had an opportunity to speak before a group this morning and with another group this evening.  I enjoy sharing my experience strength and hope with others. The response I got was enormous, on both occasions. I'm glad for the participation of others and opportunities for me to self-express.
4. I met with a mentor this evening, before the second meeting. He was wonderful. I like his spirituality. He helped me face fearful circumstances that are swirling around me. I loved his insight, humor and positivity.
5. I experienced tremendous support from several friends today.
      I can't do justice expressing the joy I have because of their wisdom, love and encouragement. It's fantastic, the fellowship, joy, positivity and celebration of life I had, while with them, today.  I appreciate the many Balcony People in my life.  I'm fortunate man.
6. I had a late evening business meeting today with Michael. I value his caring nature, the calmness he offered when answering my questions. I was inspired by his emphasis on maintaining our spiritual practice.

     My day started early and finished late with this post. Thank you for dropping by. You have no idea it means to me when you do.