Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable. Denis WaitleyI give up. A circumstance worse than being the twentieth person in line at a checkout stand in a supermarket---with each person before me having fifty items---has no appeal. Reading the National Enquire of disappointment while waiting for life to improve, no longer interests me. I do not like feeling so low I could go outside and play handball against the curb. I have reached the frazzled end of the rope of my patience.
Recently, I was knocked back, by the bullets of reality. Facing the firing squad of truth terminated several hopes and dreams. Now, I am moving forward, unencumbered by the anchor of codependency. Tolerating unneeded frustration is a no no. Codependency is surrendering our values and opinions because of fear towards
the rejection or anger of another. I fear no one. Serenity, sanity and confidence are mine. They are the fabric of my character. They are the result of decades of hard work and continuous investment in personal growth.
Have you found yourself in a similar place---emotionally or situationally---where you were frustrated, tolerating unacceptable conditions? I was there. Not now.
An unacceptable situation is no longer tolerated. Respect for my emotional well-being prevents me from accepting the short stick of life. Now comes detaching, along with grief. Healthy sorrow. Knowing the enormity of my emotions without being overwhelmed by them is a result of recovery. Placing values before attachment, is what I will do. Not easy. But necessary. Placing principles before personalities, including my own is the action I take.I will pray for patience, because if I pray for strength, I may throw you out the window.
I am succored by guiding principles. They provide a stable, drama-free life, giving the peace of mind and celebration of life needed for happiness, sanity and serenity.
My Gratitudes:
1. I am thankful for clarity. It contributes towards the consciousness I need. Clarity helps me discover options available that help meet my needs.
2. I don't live by other people's standards. The days of serfs are over. This is the 21st Century. I live by my values and boundaries. Others do not have to agree. I don't ask them to. But my values are needed in order for me to celebrate the Great Big Life my Higher Power has for me. I am true to myself, thankful for autonomy. It is a great source for joy and freedom.
I don't understand why so many people do things they do not want to do, to impress others whom do not know, who usually don't care much about them.
3. I gathered with friends tonight. Was it swell. Honesty, vulnerability, transparency and laughter happened there. It was great being appreciated. It feels good, belonging to a group of loving people, being nurtured. A lucky guy I am.
PabloMay you have a grea and grateful Thursday. I know I will!
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6 comments:
Feeling superior, Pablo? No, no, I am not judging! This whole refusal to submit to the pressures of relationships and sacrifice one's own mindset for the sake of a dubious, POSSIBLE peace between oneself and others is new to me. It seem to carry a heavy price, but not as heavy as the one of codependency!
Dina,
It is the lack of codependency that allows me to be true to my values. I have learned that as I feel comfortable with my likes, wants, dreams and desires, I am increasingly able to risk the disapproval of others. (Courage to Change, 217)
Thank you, for dropping by, reading and commenting. I wish you a day full of gratitude!
You are so passionate. I love it. I heard that the opposite emotion to depression is anger. Do you think this is true?
I have been gone for months. So good to see you still going strong. I admire that.
I admire your ability to respect and take care of your own emotional well being, despite what anyone else may think.
Dear Vanessa,
Thank you for dropping by. I apologize for not replying sooner. Being Latin, yes, I am passionate.
Thanks for your question. The opposite emotion to depression is fulfillment, especially having our needs to be heard, for connection, bonding and emotional safety. When that happens we have peace of mind and heart, we thrive.
Anger reveals an unmet need, it is in the same category as depression. Anger is an aggressive form of revealing hurt.
Dear Thumper,
A big step towards enhancing my overall well being was learning more than ten years ago that I am the only person on earth that can make it my number one priority. If I don't, no one else will.
This doesn't mean I became a narcissist. It simply reveals I live a balanced life. I care for others, but now I also am sensitive to my needs, wants, feelings and desires.
I appreciate and am happy when you drop by. Thank you for visiting the inn, reading and sharing your thoughts. They mean much to me!
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