This woman was arrested on June 26th for spraying poison in the face of a seven year old. No, I wasn't sprayed with poison, but you
get an idea of the venom I encountered in
Bakersfield.
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While there, my companion filled up the car with gas, I went inside the mini store at the gas station. Ice was needed for the cooler. One aisle had huge stuffed animals. They extended into the aisle, allowing only one person to pass through at a time.
I was going through that aisle when a woman came from another direction.
"Back away!!!" she screamed.
Wow.
Her gruff manner came easily, without hesitation. Her salty personality indicated she was accustomed to getting her way. I understood why.
Ninety-six percent of all people are codependent. Such individ-uals are easily flustered. They becoming apologetic, if someone snarls, spitting emotional venom their way, even if they haven't done anything wrong.
This woman---in her sixties, with a weatherbeaten face---was good at intimidating.
Only one problem. I am not codependent. With a calm but steely look, I stood still. Peering into her eyes, I replied, "With that tone of voice,you'll have to back up. I'm not."
She scooted back, letting me pass.
When it was her turn to pass down the aisle, she muttered an indignant stage whisper, "Jesus!!" A cloud of anger enveloping her. Fortunately, the over-stuffed elephants and bears between her and me had no feelings.
Like me, these furry friends were not triggered by her wrath.
I turned towards her, caught the woman's eye and with a gentle smile said, "Thank you for respecting me. Thank you for calling me, Jesus."
She stared at me as if she was a Democrat in the presence of George W. Bush. She looked me up and down, then shrugged her body, doing a backstep, almost in terror. And it wasn't because she saw the gleam on my machete because there wasn't one.
I turned around paid $1.69 for the bag of ice and returned to my car.
My Gratitudes:
1. I am thankful for the joy of being present. When we are present with angry people, we don't react. Emotional vampires are unable to sink their fangs into the neck of our insecurities.
When the bells and whistles of our vulnerable self gets triggered, we are not present.
2. I am glad the woman did not have a gun in her car.
3. I am grateful realizing that bad things do not happen to bad people. Bad things happen to very nice people because there are unkind emotional predators out in the world. Ninety-six percent of the time, they get away with victimizing others.
Not this time. Her behavior was a statement about her, not me.
How About You?
Who have you had to stand up to, recently?
2 comments:
Pablo, you sound like your describing me.Whenever I run into someone intimidating like the woman in your article, I always back down and get flustered.
I want to learn how to be present and speak my truth.
Jane G. Yorkshire
Dear Jane,
For everyone of your comments I am replying. Thank you for sharing your thoughts here.
I am hearing you say that you can get caught off guard when dealing with less than pleasant people. What do you think you need to do in order to be present and have the courage to speak up, when with a bully? What might help you?
I am curious to hear your answer.
The Innkeeper
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