Saturday, July 9

My Relationship With God and an Awkward Time with an Inquisitive Stranger 7/9/11


"Where are you from? My, what passion you have when
you speak! Oh, you are just a caregiver, right?" 

     At one point last Sunday evening (click here for more details),  as some friends and I ate at a restaurant, I was posed awkward, judgmental questions, "Where are you from?  I notice you say things differently,"  a woman asked me.  Here, I thought that I had tucked my antennae neatly under my thick head of hair!
Seriously, I was born and raised in the Bay Area. English is the first of several different languages I speak, the others I learned 10-18 years later, depending on the language.

      Later, she made a comment about my passion when I spoke about someone who's suffering from the results of cancer. Lastly, she made a condescending comment about the work she thought I did. (I'm not a caregiver, although, I've been helping someone, on the side, who is having a difficult time with cancer of the leg.) Other than that, this question tossing person was a pleasant person to be with.

      I was taken aback. A safe environment, among friends, I thought I was in. Instead I was stuck in a restaurant with someone coming to conclusions about me, who didn't even know me. Others judging us damages our serenity. Enjoying time with friends is not possible when someone in the midst tries to put us in a one-down relationship. This is what judgment does. People judge when they feel they are superior to the person or object evaluated.

     I'm glad that I'm talking with the woman, who asked the impertinent questions, tomorrow night. I look forward to seeing her. When I want to address a problem with a person, I usually tell them I need their help. I will us the same approach with her. When we are alone, I'll ask her to explain what prompted her unique and personal questions.

     I'll let her know that I don't need her evaluations of me, especially in front of others. That is not her position; I never gave her permission to judge me. I will request my need for equality. She didn't ask anyone else similar questions. I want her speak to me as she speaks to others. 

Relating with God

      It could be that it was an unfortunate use of words. Perhaps she meant my comments last Sunday were different than the comments from the rest of the group. My perspective was different. Last Sunday, among our friends, my point of view was different from the rest of the group. Everyone spoke that night, theoretically about how a person can get closer to God.  

      When it was my turn, I said that we need to shut up. "We have so many tempting distractions---I pods, Bluetooths, DVDs, radios, TV, texting, the Internet, etc., that we don't take the time to turn them off.and listen to God. How can God get our attention when we're mentally and auditorially  assaulted with so many distractions?" I had asked. 

"Be still, and know I am God."  Psalms 46:10

     I also mentioned, Sunday evening, that when I'm with a friend, he may say something, and I'll respond.  I'll may say something, and my friend responds.  Usually, this is not the case, when many of us pray. Typically, most of us say our five minutes of  prayer, if that much, and we get up and get busy with the busyness of life.  I mean, I don't give a five minute speech to a friend, when I see one.  I don't follow that up by shaking his hand and walking away. Nope, that's not how I interact with friends. Yet, that's exactly what many of us do with God, and He's the greatest friend we could have!. 

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      When with my friends last Sunday, I mentioned that it helps to exercise the spiritual disciplines of silence, solitude, prayer, fasting, giving, service and praise. I mentioned that it helps to slow down in His presence. We want to allow God an opportunity to speak to us.  This is possible when we are still before Him. It's helps, I said, to use prayer and meditation to determine His, not our will. We also need to ask God for the power to carry it out.

       I stated, that we don't make God our spiritual bellboy.  We don't want to say, "Okay, God. Here are my plans----now you bless them!"  That's a low view of God. He doesn't operate that way. Instead, we are more successful when we commit our ways and plans to Him,
"Commit your ways to the Lord and your plans shall be established."                  Proverbs 16:3
       I find it arrogant----forgive me for being blunt---when we say, "God is in our heart." Such an outlook limits God.  I find it better to ask myself "am I in the heart of God, am I doing His Will?" His greatness far surpasses the confines of my heart. 


        This preferred reference point--- living within God's heart gives us an all-encompassing perspective.It's humbling, to see ourselves in this way. It reminds us that the universe is greater than us. It's one reason why I like my name Paul. It means small, in Latin. We even get the words Pablum, paucity and pause from the root of this word. In each case the word has to do with scarcity, smallness or something that is few in nature or stature.

       I like being reminded that I'm small. God is large, not me.  Does this mean I degrade myself. Not at all. You've read enough from this innkeeper to know that I love my life and live it fully. I'm thrilled with the richness and texture of life that I enjoy. I'm thriving right now. 

       I'm excited about my life, even in the midst of making major transitions. I'm enjoying the fact that my happiness---rather---my joy, and my peace transcends my circumstances. My life has never been better. The best thing is that every week, it's improving! This is a result of personal work I do. I also having healthy others in my life who keep me honest. (Click here for more information about such people).  

        My happiness is also the result of regularly doing an inventory of those areas in my life that I need to improve. I have a mentor with whom we discuss healthy ways, alternatives, to those areas where I struggle. Thank God for not living in isolation!

    Other than the comments I made last Sunday,  I have no idea why she would ask me where I was from, do you?  Do you really think I'd be less conspicuous if I used some goop to slick down my two antennae?

     Please let me know what you think,

             The Innkeeper

 Update: 7/13/11
Hey, guys, I haven't heard any feedback regarding this post---I'd really love hearing your thoughts on this post. Do me a favor, will you?  Let me know what you think about getting closer to God. 

1. What works for you?
2. What makes doing so, difficult for you? 
3. When is your favorite time to have Quiet Time, time alone with God?

Remember, you're in a safe place. You can open up here. I'd especially would enjoy hearing from several of our Silent Readers. You know, those who drop by, without posting.  
                  Here's to greater communication, within this inn!

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Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.

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