Tuesday, July 29

The Innkeeper's Conversation With God, The Why of Life's Challenges 7/29/14

Even when the storm involves fighting circumstances
requiring patience, and I don't care to exercise it. 
       I was happy all day.  Speaking with someone special will do that.  Yes, I have a zest for life.  I am the wealthiest man on earth:  I enjoy the work I do, have great loved ones and am making the most of my abilities.

        Besides that, I am one grateful, happy guy.  Abundance is not in how much we have, but in how much we enjoy.  However, as mentioned here,  I am wrestling with a quality that can be tough on a motivated fellow who is action oriented.  Need I say what it is??  Yes, it is that word...


        Anything but, please.  Especially in the area where I am being tested.  Wouldn't you think twelve years is long enough?

       "I am a nice guy,"  I plead, to my Higher Power, "that should count for something."

       He says, "Wait."

      "Don't I get credit for the good I do, helping others?" I ask.

      "You are looking from your perspective, not mine.  My point of view is broader."  He replies.
      "Could you please choose another vulnerable part in my life to work on?"  It is worth a try, bargaining, I reason.

      "Nope." He says.

      Oh brother.
       Just when I feel like giving up, I am mindful that the things in life that are valuable in life are not gotten cheaply, they require effort, perseverance.  That's true whether it is a diamond, a nice looking yard or an excellent relationship.

       At this time, the words of a former board member of a non-profit I ran ring in my ears:
The difficulties you go through can be a monument to your past pain, or by how you respond, it can reveal the healing, grace and growth that you have experienced in your life.
       Drat.  When Arie originally shared this nugget of wisdom, I resented it, immediately.  Due to an untenable situation, I wanted to be petulant, getting angry.  I felt I deserved to express the rage within.  (With my current situation, it's frustration.)  Yet, then and now, Arie is right.

My Gratitudes:
1.  I was happy visiting someone extraordinary. The rapport shared, along with humor, honesty and closeness makes our visits special.
2.  This is my most challenging night of the week, when usually I experience combat.  Mercifully, it didn't happen.  Thank God!  I was emotionally and physically wiped out.
3.  I received a stunning letter this morning.  It is beyond my comprehension knowing someone who leaves me in the shadow of their wisdom, humility and grace.  I hope to be like this person some day.
4.  I am cooking every day, eating healthily. Cooking permits my mind to wander, putting me in a meditative state, helping me to slow down.
5.  I am happier than I ever been. That is saying something.  I enjoy the relationships I have. But I am not where I want to be.
6.  I get to sleep in tomorrow.  Rest provides the antidote I need for a intense, busy week.
7.  I am loved for who I am, not what I do.  That is reassuring.  A good thing, too.  Because I do not run in the hamster wheel of constantly performing, doing.  I do not require the approval of others, in order to feel good about myself. While it is enjoyable, it is not necessary.

How About You? 
What are your three gratitudes for today? 

1 comment:

Thumper said...

I am grateful for Alanon and Alanon literature, for authentic and revealing conversations with healthy friends and for taking steps in setting my boundaries.

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.