|A picture I took a couple of months ago, while at the shore of Half Moon Bay|
About an hour before the sun said good night and sank into the Pacific Ocean.
1. I am getting my sea-legs under me. For the past month-and-a-half I have been getting acquainted with living in a new town, having a new schedule and multiple changes that overloaded my ability to cope, physically, spiritually and mentally. The dizzying effect of these changes, happening all at once,
threw off my equanimity.
Critical For a Relationship To Thrive and Have Depth
Yesterday a terrific conversation was had. A big issue still needs resolving. It will be settled by next week, Tuesday, maybe. Closure, having an understanding, is critical for the serenity needed to live fully. As I wrote here, two characteristics that create inauthentic relating are:
1. Evading important issues.
2. Indirect communication.
That is not my problem. My values are expressed clearly, when relating. In Thursday's conversation, I was honest, while remaining kind and understanding. Kindness and assertion are not mutually exclusive. I was not interested in being right. I was not interested in proving someone wrong. Nor was I interested in what the other person thought of me. That is, managing this individual's impression of me. I was me: sincere, finding out what was alive within the other individual.
I was vulnerable. My adult self spoke. No wounded, or self-pitying child voiced his fears or indignant judgments. Confidence, born from the love that envelopes my personhood---a result of the good company I keep and the deep love I know from God---exuded from me as I voiced concerns.
During our visit I was more concerned in expressing my truth, values and needs. I wanted to uncover what was going on within the other person, paying attention to what I heard, not trying to direct the conversation, managing the outcomes.
The C Word
Gratitude number two is the love that soothes me, from head-to-toe, when spending time with friends. When with them, authenticity and loving concern marks our time together. Commitment is integral for any strong relationship and for it to endure. There can be no emotional safety without commitment.
It is not the flashy pseudo and superficial intimacy of sexual passion that will truly engage two people. Nope, depth of a relationship is born when there is connection of the mind, body and soul. Where there is the "C" word.
3. I spoke my truth yesterday, for more than four hours. So did the other person. I love conversation that comes from the heart, trusting God for the outcome, be it good or unwanted.
4. Saw a fantastic movie tonight, with a friend. Lucy. Stunning, mind-boggling and visually startling.
Wisdom, Greater Than Knowledge
There is someone I have gotten to know who is different from anyone else I have met. What a gift it is, knowing, talking and relating with this person. This individual speaks from the right hemisphere, from the emotional part of our mind.
This is the part that matters most to me, meeting a great bulk of my needs. I don't ask you to agree. The right hemisphere is the part from which wisdom is derived. This is far superior to knowledge. Wisdom is applied knowledge. It is knowing how to take the knowledge gotten and using it in our lives, today.
How About You?
What are your gratitudes for today?