A great way to exercise somatic therapy. See # 1 below |
comments area. It was extensive and such a labor of love that I'm featuring it today.
By the way, one idea, so that you won't lose a comment you've written, is to save it as a Word document. That way, if you are unable to post it here, you can copy and paste it in the comments section again and see if gets accepted the second time.
You can also do what Tony did: mail it to me and I'll insert it in this cozy and encouraging place in cyberspace. Take a listen to Tony, I don't think he will mind. I added my comments. They are in lavender:
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Dear Innkeeper,
Thank you for all the hard work you have put into your recovery, your personal growth. It is greatly appreciated, especially at the visceral level. Your courage to be vulnerable has inspired me to write my first official post. Tony, thank you for your abundance of gratitudes. I'm touched. You made my day!!
I am grateful for:
1. Your inspiring advice to continue cycling as part of my somatic therapy. For those who don't know, Tony refers to somatic therapy as promoted in the book: "Waking the Tiger, Healing Trauma", by Peter Levine. I use this therapy as one of the modalities I offer clients. A read book eventually goes back on the shelf or is lost, but the body, full of wisdom, is with me at all times and is the most wonderful door to the present moment. I agree. Exercise helps us to stay present.
2. Getting to know a colleague today and yesterday during two days of training. I learned our struggles as teachers were similar, and that we are doing the best we can under the circumstances. I was late Thursday morning, but she had saved me a seat. I appreciated her kindness. You are doing so many good things! Bonding with others is the best way to overcome depression and emotional entropy, an example of the second law of thermodynamics. It prevents despair, depression, anxiety.
3. Sharing lunchtime with my colleague, under a gentle, warm sun and cool, breezy wind, watching the young, female kayak squads rowing along the canal, which eventually leads into the bay. We were given free lunches. We shared some laughs and learned that we are both the same age, both from European descent, and married to spouses who are from Asian descent.
4. On Wednesday, I reached out to a friend who I promised I would call this week. I spoke with her, telling her sincerely that I understood and wanted to be there for her. Yesterday, after work, I called a former colleague to arrange a day to meet for coffee as well, decaf this time. He didn't call back, and I didn't panic. I know in my heart we will meet again. I'm taking more initiative with meeting friends. Big step for me, but I'm building more courage to take the leap. I learned from you Pablo to stop being so hard on myself, that what I have to offer other people is much simpler than what I think, and much more enjoyable. I'm learning to take the good with the bad. Tony, this is huge, H.U.G.E. This approach allows us to be gentler towards others and ultimately apply more grace towards ourselves.
5. For friends on Wednesday. I am grateful for this support group. I am grateful what my friends teach me is not something I can take or control, but a touching moment that is unexpected and cherished. Thank you friends. It has been great, having you there! You've been a blessing, with your authenticity and the presence you have, which is being real, not contrived.
6. Learning something valuable on Thursday. In the morning I had two cups of coffee during my training meeting, disregarding my sensitivity to caffeine, thinking that the joy of perking up from caffeine would safeguard me from a possibly disappointing reading and writing workshop. A simple choice like that showed I was afraid to completely trust. Boy, was I wrong about the workshop. The speaker was amazing, and it turned out to be a good day.
7. After Thursday's meeting, I took a long walk/hike at Coyote Hills in Fremont, power-walking and climbing hills. I was restless within (probably from the coffee earlier) and demanding peace with myself, hoping the walk would put me at ease. Even the night bike ride around the neighborhood didn't help. I desperately clung to music and spiritual reference points for clarity, still to no avail.
I learned that being patient and learning from negative feelings are just as important as enjoying positive ones, and that patience with myself, waiting out a long cloud storm with kindness, eventually leads to the sweetest moments. Tony, this is fantastic!
8. Gettting a call from the auto body shop earlier than expected. The shop called to say my van was ready for pick up. I was in a minor car accident two weeks ago. The back and front bumpers were fixed by today. The shop had originally said the van would be ready by Monday or Tuesday. I am grateful for the kind gentleman who provided excellent service with updates. Also, grateful that the other two parties involved in the accident had car insurance as well. Thank God for small, but significant blessings!
9. The hugs from my middle and youngest sons. I took care of my needs when I arrived home. I took a nap, and my boys came and hugged me. The youngest, who is going through a challenging phase, still managed to hug me for a few seconds. I am grateful for those few seconds.
10. Being graced with sage advice. After I snuggled with my boys, they left my room, and I was given a sweet kiss in the form of a video on my phone.
The topic was the redeeming presence of love. A powerful quote from the Book of John ignited the talk, "For God so loved the world he gave it his only begotten son." What if I so loved the world that I gave myself completely to it as an act of love? It isn't easy, I know. I'm still admitting my powerlessness and just becoming more aware of how my own personal will functions with its insatiable demands. I can't help but wonder though, who would I be if I was completely receptive of God's will? Things to ponder still....This is part of Step Three and Step Eleven.
11. My guitar students. Teaching guitar makes me more appreciative of my late father, who would wait in our '73 Dodge Dart Swinger, reading a book, as my brother and I took our guitar lessons in Hayward and Dublin back in the late 70s and 80s. Thanks, Dad.
12. For an amazing wife, who constantly thinks of others and is also putting more effort into meeting her own needs.
Thank you, PabloTony, I appreciate you investing the time to share with us, what is alive within you and the lessons you are learning. Isn't it exciting seeing yourself grow and enjoying life more??! I look forrward to reading more comments from you.
For your time's sake, please feel free to make them briefer, it might allow you to comment more often. As innkeeper of this inn I am duly authorized to award you with the Attitude of Gratitude Award for today. Congratulations and kudos to you!!
Gratitudes from the Innkeeper
This weekend was the best I ever had, for significant reasons:
1. I received love from my supportive network, in many different forms: prayer, letters, phone calls, visits from friends and them coaching me, helping me as I coped with my circumstances.
It is spiritually bracing, to feel undergirded by in so many ways by those dear to me.
2. I had a monumental conversation with someone. The intimacy shared was unlike any I've ever had. That's saying plenty. My prayer is that God guides us as we take one step at a time, under His direction.
3. I visited someone who was deeply hurt and was struggling with past pain. I'm glad that I've learned the balance of being responsive to, but not responsible for the feelings of others.
How About You?
You have heard Tony's and my grattitudes. May I hear three of yours? That's the vision of this inn, making this place a gratitude journal for all who drop by.
May your day be all that you dream it can be.
"As a man thinks in his heart, so is he ."May this day be a great and grateful day, is my prayer,
The Innkeeper
1 comment:
Dear Innkeeper,
On this Tuesday night, let me first congratulate you Tony for your first ever blog post. Wow, you are not only courageous, but a gifted and prolific writer! You express your feelings and experiences with great clarity, dignity and heart. Please keep sharing here as it is both cathartic for you, and a blessing for us all.
Tonight, I am grateful for;
1. An important ice-breaker with a key chef; currently a bit aloof. I will help him let go of some past missteps, with a gift of free crab, and have lunch there by weeks end. That should help...
2. Some quality time with our #3 son, as he prepares to go off to Army National Guard basic training.
3. A pilgrimage in the rain yesterday to Walnut Creek for a reassuring, informative and visionary meeting with our friend and financial planner.
4. My wife's victorious "5 Years Cancer Free" Celebration yesterday, and for the potted pink tulips I could bring her today.
5. Visiting five instead of eight restaurants in S.F. today, so I could visit the Scott Nichols Gallery on Geary Street to see some of "Vivian Maier's - Out of the Shadows" brilliant black and white street photography. Please visit www.vivianmaier.com, if you want to learn her amazing story.
6. Remembering how excellent Mark Wahlberg is in "The Shooter."
7. Yet another exquisite and thought-provoking episode, as we re-run Downton Abbey's Season Two.
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