Calmness In the Eye of the Storm, Part II, Revisited 4/18/14

     Innkeeper's note:  I'm bushed.  I'm bumping this up.  I wrote this last year.  Some of you were not acquainted with this inn, then. Here it is:                                                     

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      The past few months have been inspiring, a time of characterological growth.  Its been a season where I've seen the value of
nurturing the formerly wounded child that once dominated my emotions whenever I felt threatened.

      This summer, during intense negative circumstances, I had equanimity.

       What a change.

       I enjoy peace in areas that once were fraught with fear, especially regions that normally pull on the scabs of traumatic youthful experiences.  Now, an affirming love fills a void once occupied by apprehension.  My emotional vitality is the fruit of rigorous, disciplined hard work in emotionally unpleasant areas for more than ten years.

        In that time, I've planted, grew and nurtured healthy relationships. Them developing as I sprinkled the seeds of adhering to boundaries and principles.  The harvest of emotional ease and safety, knowing closeness and delighting in authentic, close, caring relationships allowed intimacy of the soul that few know.

        Soul sickness that was once plagued me has been replaced by a love bank overflowing with the support received by my Balcony People.   It was a relief, being delivered from the mental and emotional disease of codependency, knowing freedom from narcissists and emotional bullies, the result of an improved people picker, also known as character discernment.

        Emotional maturity is marvelous. It makes me the happy guy I am.  Love, received from God, and the loving community of my family and friends----and I'm not talking about Facebook quality friends, but Balcony People----provides emotional stability, serenity and safety.  With the strength of having my needs met I am able to push through arduous, emotionally taxing times, enjoying a peace of mind that transcends my circumstances.

       Something else has helped, too.  I'm taking care of me.  I make it a point to nurture and strengthen my soul.  It's disturbing how frequently conditional love is doled out by parents----"if you jump through hoops---- perform "well"----we'll approve of you."  Sadly, this is the experience of many, growing up. It was mine.

        Doing well in school, sports, playing a musical instrument, success---in whatever way a parent considered "well"----was necessary, for a child to be praised.  Scarring is this mentality.  Children absorb it, carrying unhealthy beliefs into adulthood, conditioned to constantly seek the approval of others.  Many are culturally coerced into this form of codependency, trained to be externally referented.  Yes, that is a word.  For more about this subject, please read here.

      Children, or anybody, should not be treated like little monkeys wearing flat-topped caps who must dance the dance of performance, before the organ grinder of life feeds them peanuts of praise.

      I'm thrilled my sons received a different legacy.  They are loved simply because of who they are.  That's it.  If they never accomplish anything---my love for them would not diminish, the same holds true for friends.  They are loved for who they are, frailties, faults and all, not just the positive attributes they don when in public.

      My sons are cherished unconditionally.  The bond shared with them is my most treasured earthly privilege, along with the relationship I have with God.

      I know a gracious, empowering and forgiving God. I'm thankful for my walk with Him, without it, I would not be me.

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       Those on a boat, overwhelmed by the severe tossing of a hellacious storm, have two responses--- be agitated, distracted, and panic, or keep their cool, and do what's necessary to make it to shore.

        Who do you think will be most successful in overcoming the situation?  You are right, the one who keeps his wits. This summer, that's been my response when engulfed by upsetting circumstances that forcefully foisted themselves upon my psyche and feelings.

        My mantra during difficult seasons of life has been, "Don't think.  Just place one foot in front of the other."  It works.  Am I glad.  I accomplish more than I believe possible, when I persevere instead of perseverating.

        I am patient towards my limitations and characterological areas needing help.  When I'm gentle towards myself, challenges are overcome.  I focus on healthy alternatives that transcend vulnerabilities and negative behaviors that once defeated me.

        Ya ay!

        It feels good, being loved, supported and undergirded.  It's terrific, finding a safe harbor, moving beyond the rough seas of life that once disturbed my serenity and joy.

My Gratitudes
1. I cycled, did errands and shopped, getting things that will make my life better. Can't beat that.
2. I napped. I was in HALT and halted. I respected and was gentle towards myself.
3. I love priorities and the order they create.  They help me to focus on action that will produce the greatest bang for the time I invest.
4. I studied, something I love doing.  Preparing for my times with clients enriches me, too.
5. I heard an inspiring message from a excellent speaker.  I enjoy being challenged.

How About You?
Are you finding yourself at peace with yourself?  If so, what helps you to know tranquility?