Saturday, April 5

Emotional Resiliency, Part IV..................... 4/5/12

     Hi there. Did you enjoy your Saturday?  I rested.  I also drove. This past week is the first week I started doing that, routinely in two years and one month.

      Time has sped by since the last post on emotional resiliency.  Links for previous posts on this subject will be listed at the end of tonight's.  I am continuing where I left off.

Emotionally Resilient People.....
10.  Do not live in isolation.

       They know how to reach out for
support.  They know who to approach for the help needed.  When caught in drama, it's hard having accurate perspective.  Enmeshed, we are, with the problemed area.  Rationalizing is an easy default mode.

        I ask clients to develop the circle of Safe People or Balcony People.  To tell a friend they want to talk.  They let this person know they don't want advice.  Safe friends, do that---offer a listening ear---without their nose pushed out of joint, because their advice is not sought.

       If we express our needs with others, there is a chance that things will improve.  If we don't, there is ZERO chance of things improving. (Courage to Change, p139)

       Resilient people are proactive in getting help.  I had a dog, Pepe.  He was my favorite pet.  Smart and sweet he was.  He adored me and I, him.  But when he went under the couch, I did not put my hand under it.  No way.  My loving dog became the Tasmanian devil.  Pepe would snarl, growl and snap at my hand.  Pepe would nearly bite any fingers that stupidly ventured under that settee.

       Well, to have resiliency, we resist the urge to act like my beloved former dog when he isolated.  We connect with others, to remain emotionally healthy.  Letting others in on what is alive within us, be it good or bad, is critical for our mental health.

11.  Are Flexible.

        A self-evident truth is that we cannot become the person we want to be, by remaining the way we are.  Many know the Serenity Prayer.  It reflects this attitude. We change the things we can, accepting the things we can't, asking God for the wisdom to know the difference.

        Now, here's the surprise.  Acceptance does not mean acceptance, as we normally consider it.  No, acceptance is about seeing the situation and then considering what steps we can take.  So acceptance is not passivity.

        Our perception of reality is often inaccurate.  Emotions are not prophecies. Often they are affected by our interpretation of what we perceive.  We see reality more clearly, the more we grow characterologically.  Knowing that our feelings are not necessarily accurate can emboldens us. It can give us the faith needed to surmount the challenges we face.

How About You? 
What provides you with emotional resiliency?  I'd love hearing your thoughts on this matter.

     Soon, I will write the final ingredient that makes people resilient. Right now, I need to get to bed.  I have the most important appointment of the entire week, in the morning.
            I'll see you Sunday,

Related Posts: 
Emotional Resiliency, Part I,    3/11/14

Emotional Resiliency, Part II   3/12/14

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Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.