Tuesday, March 18

Emotional Resiliency, Part III 3/18/14

     How are you?  Thanks for giving this inn a visit.  I am resuming the series on emotional resiliency. Many of you have checked out the first two installments.

To review the first five qualities of resilient people read this. 

 6.  Resilient people are
comfortable in their own skin. They are not seduced by the distractions of urban society. iPhones, iPods, laptops, smart phones, TV, drugs, Facebook are seen for what they are.  Frequently they are used to avoid being in touch with our feelings or reality, distractions from stress and angst.

    Being mindful is best.
Mindfulness has exploded into the mainstream during recent years. This phenomenon has alternately been described as a revolution, a collective awakening, and a global turning. The new buzz word for many systems and individuals, the concept of mindfulness carries a strong attraction to those longing for relief within a world that feels exponentially complex, stressful, and racing beyond the speed of light. It seems clear that we are seeking a different path of engagement on this journey. Mindfulness offers us this possibility and promise.   Dr. Lori Gray Boothroyd
        In recovery, this is Step 11. It is a form of healing, requiring practice. But if we are diligent, the fruit will be resiliency.

  7.  Resilient people exercise acceptance.  Growth takes time.  When we are in the storm, we don't think we can bear it.  Maturity involves knowing that challenges are a part of living.  Seeing reality for what it is is better than living in fantasy.  Acceptance involves seeing the disappointing truth of a situation, grieving the disparity between what we want and reality, letting go of our expectations. Acceptance has one further step.   We consider our options.  We have choices. We are not helpless, hopeless victims.
"Acting like a victim is a choice, not a destiny."                       Hope for Today, p 189
8.  Resilient People don't have all the answers. They find strength knowing that it's okay to not have it all figured out. They trust that gradually they will find peace.

      Analysis is often a form of procrastination.  Just do. Take baby steps.  Our problems did not develop overnight. The same is true with our progress. It is gradual.

      The slowness of our progress is a spiritual practice.  It teaches us---if we yield to life's pace---patience, persistence, perseverance and humility.  We come to terns that we are not always in control.  God is.

       Life isn't limited to the narrow parameters of our thinking.  Life's answers often transcends what we can conceive.  Life has more serenity when we turn over our worries and burdens to the God of our understanding.

9.  Resilient People Live by Action Steps.
With every client, at the end of each session there is an Action Plan. Typically, they choose 2-3 Action Steps that they will apply until our next meeting. These are healthy antidotes to whatever struggle they face. This is staying in the solution. Which I heartily encourage. When we apply healthy steps to counteract areas of vulnerability, we are creating a better today. We are not yielding to the despair that normally dogs us.

     We'll see other characteristics of resilient, emotionally mature individuals in a future post.

How About You? 
Which of the traits listed above do you want to apply this week? Let me know. I'm here to support and encourage you, as you develop an Attitude of Gratitude.

      Here's wishing you a great and grateful Wednesday. 

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Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.