Tuesday, March 18

Vulnerability: The Stuff From Which Intimacy Is Born. Also, The Value of Disappointing Times .......3/18/14

     Here I am, again, another early morning posting to complement yesterday's.  At least I'm consistent about keeping in touch.

      It's great seeing many guests from the UK, and by the large numbers, apparently many new visitors from Sweden, Germany, France, Spain, Poland and  Norway. Thank you for giving
the inn a look.  Let me know if I can make your stay more comfortable. I hope you like the chocolates left on your pillows. Hearing your comments, would be great.  Your voice is important.  Really.

     Monday was someone's birthday.  I wrote her a letter, after finishing work late this evening. Often after seeing clients.  I chart-- adding notes to files. I hunkered down at a coffee shop, doing this and prepared for two sessions tomorrow. I'll present new material, never used before with any of my clients.

     Growing in my profession keeps me fresh, vital. I worked until 12:10 a.m.   First things first.

     While at the cafe, I called the police.
Two drunk women were loud and boisterous---one was yelling. The police came within two minutes-------thank you, San Leandro police. Calmness and serenity was restored. The women were escorted to a police car.  The workers thanked me. They didn't think of taking action.  I've learned to take care of me. 

Gratitudes for Monday: 

1.  I'm still bathing in he wonderful times had yesterday.  One event started at 9:00 a.m. A three-and-a-half hour conversation took place that met every need of mine, and then some. The visit seemed like minutes.  Our time cleared several issues troubling me.

     Before our time together, I kept my apprehensions in check, holding them loosely, with the quiet strength gotten from recovery, due to Al-Anon Family Groups.  Not allowing concerns arrest me or rob me of the joy I know demonstrated how much I've grown since a young man in my twenties.  Negative thoughts were counteracted by applying recovery principles.

      I have learned it is best remembering a positive outcome is just as likely as one that is negative.  And, no matter how circumstances work out, God can use whatever happens for my good. (Courage to Change, p 260).

      But still, I felt vulnerable, until getting clarity from the person I saw Sunday.  Honest I was, during the shared time.  I risked, revealing my feelings and what troubled me.   I'm glad I did.  It's the only way we can taste intimacy.  Closeness---bonding with emotionally healthy, mature, supportive others---is the antidote for depression, anxiety, rage, loneliness, and it is heart-warming, too.

     The results of time together were marvelous.  Taking our relationship to even deeper level.  I'm thankful for being authentic while with this person.  I appreciated the transparency and joy shared, and clarity about the future.

2.  The other good time had on Sunday was going to the beach that afternoon.  A nice change of pace. Yes, I live on an island.  But it is in the middle of the San Francisco Bay, not along the sea.  I don't see the crashing waves, nor hear the roar of the ocean when along the Alamedan shore. Yesterday, was spent at Half Moon Bay.

      The evening adventure met my need for celebrating life, joy, spontaneity and fun.  I also tried out new material I'll be using with clients. It provided for a great conversation as I enjoyed a salmon salad featuring fried beets.
3.  I am being challenged.  I'm encountering stubborn problems with my car, due to not driving it for more than two years, while I stuck to cycling during that time.  I'm concerned and it has cost more than I expected. Way more, believe me.  For now, I'll acknowledge my powerlessness and leave the results to God.  Pretty simple.

     So, where is the gratitude in that??   How about the fact that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, car or no car.  I believe this. My recent setbacks also provide opportunities to practice faith, perseverance, patience and exercise equanimity when stressed.

How About You?  
What are your three gratitudes for today? 


Optimistic Existentialist said...

Well-said Pablo, yes a positive outcome is just s likely as a negative one. Why do we always focus on the negative scenario? And the San Leandro police should win the award for the most punctual police in America :)

Carl H said...

Dear Innkeeper,

On this Tuesday night, I am grateful...

1. For a double-date tonight in Berkeley with another Euro-American couple to see a quirky, satirical, comically ironic, yet engaging and entertaining film. We were swept away from our cares, as pure entertainment should.

2. For remarkably cheap, after-the-show, $1.00/scoop in a sugar cone, ice cream on Shattuck.

3. For (knock on wood) prosperous times at work these days...

4. That though the darkest hour can be just before the dawn, that the dawn always comes, the sun always rises, and the new day always looms large with hope, promise and opportunity before us, pure, innocent and as of yet, un-lived in!

5. For the majestic, not-quite-full-any-longer, yet awe-inspiring moon over the Castro Valley hills tonight.

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.