So, what's up with me? Well, I've gotten timely support, when I needed it. It means a lot. Even though I am resilient, it's not fun, getting kicked in the teeth---emotionally. I'm processing recent surprises life has presented. Key to happiness, including mine, is realizing we are responsible for life's disappointments. (Have you noticed a theme, bantered around this inn, lately? Just wondering.)
This is true even if we are not responsible for said unsatisfactory times. This issue, working on it, is keeping me busy. Your prayers---yes, yours---are valued. It could be the tip given, for the work I do here.
Oh, yeah, the past few days my last post, "Finding Rays of Light in The Darkened World of Disappointment" has struck a responsive chord. It appears the heartstrings of the guests of this inn resonate with it. Twelve hundred views today, so far. Eighteen hundred plus views yesterday. Thank you, for keeping me busy, as the innkeeper. It helps me get my mind off besetting areas of confusion.
Yesterday was special, gathering with friends, after work. The time was amazing, beyond fabulous. Those there, don't you agree? Let me hear from you.
The topic was feelings. (Appropriate for me. I shared the anger I once had, the result of mistreatment I endured as a lad.) An uplifting time was had by all. Several stories told caused a tear or two. When hanging out with healthy others, my soul gets deposits into the love bank of my heart. Besides what was just mentioned, here are.......
My Gratitudes:
1. It's been raining the past few days. We need it, here, in California. In spite of the rain, we are facing a drought this summer.
2. I'm getting greater clarity about recent events. It provides peace of mind, emotional safety and stability.
3. I appreciate the stability that recovery offers. No, I'm not a drug addict or suffer from drinking. My issue at one time was knowing how to cope with narcissists, emotional vampires, social predators. Years ago, I didn't have boundaries.
My growth has been through what I have learned from Al-Anon Family Groups and ten years of constant, vigorous work---like 3-4 hours a day---on my personal growth.
3. I lost the book in which I had more than two thousand hours of notes microscopically written within, Courage to Change. How is that a gratitude? I'm learning to hold everything I have with an open hand, including the cause for a recent disappointment. And I'm not talking about my book, silly.
4/9/14 Innkeeper note: The book was found. A client had taken it with him, accidentally, after a session. I'm glad I have it back. Yaay!"The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord."
4. For equanimity. It is the hard-fought product of spiritual discipline, maintaining a living, vibrant relationship with God and applying principles above my feelings----not that I'm denying them, mind you. Oh, do I feel them. And yet, I know a peace that transcends my circumstances and emotions.
And there is no lesson for me to learn from the setbacks encountered the past week. My mind, I do not worship. There is no craving need to analyze everything. That is a vain attempt at controlling the uncontrollable.
I know this trap. I was this way as a young man. Life happens. Our challenge is going with it, not fighting the waves caused by life's vicissitudes, but experiencing and surfing them.
How About You?
What are your three gratitudes for today? I'd love hearing them. It would comfort me, during this vulnerable time. Just asking.....
I'll come back and work on this Friday. For now, my best is good enough for today. (Courage, p 9)
I sure appreciate your visits, and your comments. Especially, now.
Pablo
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2 comments:
Dear Innkeeper,
Thank you Pablo for sharing today/tonight. I am reminded of the "Just For Today" slogan. Just for today you are adjusting yourself to what is...
Pablo, please take comfort in knowing that through your work here at the Inn,
"You are an instrument of the Lord's peace. Where there is hatred, you sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where is sadness, joy."
And this all, in spite of the lemons life has currently hurled your way!
Our hats are off, and our hearts go out to you, Dear Innkeeper.
On this Thursday night, I am grateful for;
1. The desperately needed rain that helps the California Poppies to bloom amidst row after row of grape vines.
2. Homemade chicken soup for the soul of a weary traveler.
3. Curling up for a nap under the covers with an already warm spot near my feet where the cat had been snoozing.
4. Hearing a friends heart over the phone today, and feeling blessed to be able to be there, even fleetingly.
5. Being reminded that I can be very happy with exactly what I have right now. That having more of any one thing will not guarantee me any greater happiness.
6. The rich, moving, uplifting, humorous, and vulnerable sharing from the heart last night, while in the weekly embrace of our growing circle of loving friends.
Dear Carl,
Thank you, for your constant company. The connection we share here inspires me as I do the work of an innkeeper. In case you didn't know, you won the Attitude of Gratitude Award for 2013.
Kudos to you!
Your upbeat perspective, even during difficult times is EXACTLY in keeping with the vision of this inn. I appreciate your example, for the many others who cool their heels here.
A grateful innkeeper
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