Late to bed and early to rise makes me a tired innkeeper at this hour. But I'm still happy. I went the day without my phone. And it was fine. Life was good, better than normal.
I have been incubating. My soul is processing what has transpired the past few weeks. Plenty. Overall, I see I'm still growing, characterologically.
At times it is disorienting,
certainly. I am firing dendrites and carving out new neuronal pathways---my mind is processing differently. Way different from the Pablo I know. But, life is better.
I am becoming the person I dreamt I could be. The difference?
1. Not allowing the 7-9 year old Pablo drive the bus of my emotions. This means I'm not reacting. I am responding.
2. The company I keep is better. I am done with those who do not accept me as I am. Those who want me to be more than I am, what do I do with them?
I bless them and send them on their way. They are not God's gift for me. My network of Safe People are for me. They don't take on the Critical Parent role and correct me, when I fall. Instead, they are just with me, available, offering support when I ask.
My Gratitudes:
1. I am thankful for expressing my voice, when confused, recently.
2. Gathering with friends Wednesday night was taking care of me. Always healthful, being with others where genuine communication takes place.
3. I'm thankful for the source of my hope, when it comes to the future. My confidence is not in my abilities. Heavens no. It is in the God of my understanding.
How About You?
What are your three gratitudes for today?
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1 comment:
Dear Innkeeper,
On this Thursday night, I am grateful...
1. To learn that I played an unexpected, minor role in a friend and mentor's quest for true and lasting love. This was at once, surprising, touching and humbling. I was reminded to never underestimate the potential value of an inspired thought or word, in or for another's life.
2. For our weekly, evening circle of friends, courageously sharing our stories; challenges, joys, hopes and in all of these, our strength.
3. For escaping harm when an errant car pulled in front of me at speed. Swerving to avoid a major crash was traumatic, but, with the help of that mysterious adrenaline rush, successful. Whew!
4. For pushing myself beyond exhaustion tonight to attend what was a rich gathering with my spiritual community in song, prayer, and fellowship,
5. For a slower, quieter, less stressful workday tomorrow, and for the chance to go to the gym; swim and decompress.
6. My wife and I will be able to escape to Aetna Springs and Pope Valley this weekend to unwind from city life with our dear friends.
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