Authenticity, The Stuff of Intimacy...... 4/21/14

      Like a kid in a candy store best describes my feelings.  

      The other day met many of my needs, making it terrific, better than great.   Enjoying presence, free from expectations when I connected with a loved one.  Former unhealthy patterned behavior once used to protect me no longer appeared.

     Relating with her this way gave me the strength to deal with what transpired, in our conversation.

     Life teaches we want to experience discomfort if we seek intimacy, an in-depth, vibrant relationship.  We must go past our comfort zone.  Communicating our dreams and values with another, including those areas where we disagree, allows bonding to take place. 

    That doesn't happen when we evade or ignore our differences.  In-authentic relating creates dry, empty relationships, as appealing as eating a cardboard box.  The relationship will not last.

    Surface fluff does not sustain any relationship.

      Sometimes friendships soar through the turbulent cloud bank of a stormy issue.  Communicating compassionately, while piloting into the clearing of a mutual understanding, draws us nearer.  We appreciate one another----understanding each person's uniqueness, values, and needs.

      Not allowing the clouds of fear, nervousness or feeling uneasy to motivate us to present our false selves allows us to be present when with another.  This only happens when we are comfortable in our own skin, relaxed. The cloud bank of needing to impress or worrying about the outcome of our time with another dissipates.

       The scene has more clarity when we are, present---feeling and sensing ourselves, and our surroundings, in the here and now. That is hard to do, if I'm trying to impress the other person or worried what the other person thinks of me.

It is through approaching turbulence, facing discomfort, embracing it, that the relationship draws closer.  We are travelling beyond artifice, arriving at the landing strip of a better understanding and appreciation of one another.

*****

      Yesterday, I was tortured, in a good way.  I enjoyed a loved one's whimsical humor and was teased.  All good, a nice change for someone who engages in intense conversations in my work.

       While with this person I asked a question.  The reply I did not like.  I respected it but disagreed.  I shared my answer to the same question.  What I said sparked a response that helped me better understand my dear friend.

My Gratitudes:
1.  I appreciate the serenity I enjoy when I don't try to analyze everything.  It is soul satisfying the ease and peace of mind I enjoy when I do my best and leave the results in God's hands.
2.  I love humor. It helps me relax. It gives me perspective.
3.  I enjoy authentic times with others.  Connecting with the needs of others, helps me remember that in any friendship, it is bigger than me. I want to consider what is best for us, not just what I want.
4.  This year is the best year of my life.
5.  I appreciate each of you who drop by.  Really.

How About You?
What are your three gratitudes for today?  Please let me hear them.  Thanks!