Tuesday, May 7

Boundaries: A Sanity and Serenity Saver .......5/7/13

Boundaries rescue us from the murky areas of life.
      How are you?

After working Monday, I was worn out.  It is my most rigorous day.  Six clients were seen.  Several faced severe situations, physically and emo-tionally.  Arriving home, I conked out, straightaway.  After a five hour nap, I remain tired, but fully awake.  Goodness. 

Using My Right Hemisphere

      From time-to-time---professionally---I write resumes.  It's fun, allowing me to use
my left-handed abilities.  A big picture type of guy, I am, typical for a person with a leftward perspective.  This part of my nature helps, when doing a summary of a person's work history.  (Counseling is left-handed by nature, too.)  

      Last week and Sunday, someone needing wordsmithing.  Well, it has taxed me.  This was especially true when yesterday I worked at home on his resume and later met with him, adjusting his resume until 10:00 p.m.  I did this after counseling four clients earlier in the day.  The results of two days of intense work is that my mind in a fog.


Not Accepting Unacceptable Behavior
   Adhering to Boundaries

     Someone sought help last month.   My need for clear communication, order, consistency, follow-through, integrity and respect for my time were not met.  I do not help others at their convenience.  Difficult, characterological change happens when vigorous, disciplined, concentrated work is applied.  Overcoming generational legacies, requires a steady and strong effort.  This person will be surprised when I let her know I can no longer help.  

      Last week, in a voicemail I mentioned her need to get healthier had to be stronger than my desire to help.  I cannot---nor do I want to---push people along in their progress.  I have not seen strong motivation on her part, nor has she replied.  I'm thankful my Pablo Piper People Picker remains strong, and functions well.  Am I glad.

       Discernment is a sanity and serenity saver.  I'm thankful that I no longer accept unacceptable behavior, not only for my sake but also for this woman's sake----tolerating it would give her no reason to want to change.  For more on character discernment, you might want to read what I wrote here

     Thank God for the healthy perspective provided by boundaries.   After three weeks, I am able to distance myself from unacceptable behavior. Without recovery it would have taken me a year-and-a half or two years, if that soon, to come to my senses.
My Gratitudes for Tuesday

      Life is good.  My baseball team is in first place.  I have great friends and my business is weathering well in today's economy.  I love the town I live in.

      I like how I feel when I'm true to my values, even when there could be pressure to relent or compromise.  There is something to be said about standing in our power, recovery and integrity. For more about this, read here (the second half of this entry). 

      I enjoy life fully and have amazing conversations with practically everyone.  How could I not be happy?
How About You?
How have boundaries helped you, lately?

             Wishing you a terrific Tuesday, 

                            The Innkeeper

No comments:

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.