Sunday, May 5

Being Gentle Towards Self, Revisited 5/5/13

The six most important words:  "I admit I made a mistake."
 The five most important words:       "You did a good job."
The 4 most important words:"What is YOUR opinion?"
The three most important words:  "If you please."
 The two most important words:  "Thank You."
 The one most important word:   "We."
The least important word: "I.”
 Author Unknown
     I'm bumping this up.  I wrote this January of last year.
Being Gentle Towards Ourselves

I'm thankful for opportunities that allow me to practice patience in general, and towards myself.  My younger self was more driven than I am now, and I'm driven.  You can imagine
what the younger innkeeper was like. 

     Much of my motivation was due to insecurities, seeking approval. Now, I'm less of a circus dog.  I no longer wear a skirt and jump through flaming hoops, trying to impress those who observe my life. 
"I block my well-being every time I base self-worth on what I do or what other people think of me." Courage to Change, 118
"When we need the applause of others to feel good about ourselves, we have them power over us."      Courage, p. 9
Being at peace with myself, knowing that I'm loved and lovable removes a big chunk of the edgy self that once was me.  Hurray!  

       Also, now, when seeing areas needing growth, I have acceptance towards those parts of me.  I'm gracious towards my warty self.  No longer do I look at these areas with resignation or frustration. 

       Being kind towards myself is a better deal.  I look at how my life is getting better, continually improving. If we focus on improving only one percent a day, we are doing fantastically well. 

       That's the healthy, calming "Progress, not perfection" perspective on life. 

       Looking back a month, six months or a year, I'm seeing progress. Towards my character defects, I'm loving.  That's a big switch.  If only my father was that kind.  He wasn't. 

        The fact is, nothing prevents me from gentle towards myself but M-E, me.  When I'm kind towards my foibles, it emerges from hiding.  My vulnerabilities  experience healing and transformation.  Before, when I was harsh towards my less than best self, it would retreat and hide.  There was no chance for growth. 

Being Gracious Towards Myself Has Benefits:
1.  I'm happier.
2. The tendency towards depression is lessened, condemning self is less likely.
"Condemning my imperfections has never enhanced my appreciation of life nor has it helped me to love myself more."
3. I have an Attitude of Gratitude
4. As I've become gentle towards myself, I'm gentler towards others. We can't give to others what we have not received ourselves.

How About You?
In what way are  you gentler towards yourself? 


Anonymous said...

Today I am grateful for the beautiful flowers and amazing fragrances everywhere I turn.

I am grateful for new friends and for Al Anon.

Pablo said...

Dear Anony,

Thank you, for dropping by. I enjoy your spirit of gratitude!

If possible, please let us know who you are. Regardless, welcome to the inn. May your stays here encourage you.

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.