Five Things to Do For Emotional Healing........... 1/4/15

       What can we do, when our emotions are roiling?  When our mind is reeling from loss?  The following steps help us overcome emotional shell-shock, after experiencing a devastating time.

1. Feel our emotions, completely.

    We don't want to hide them by bury-ing ourselves with busyness.
2. We need to grieve our losses.
     a. A stiff upper lip is not the answer.  Feeling the enormity of our feelings is critical
     b.  Keeping good company pays off during moments when we are going through the dark night of the soul.  We want to talk it out. Asking those dear to us to empathize with, not advise us.

     We don't need that, at least initially.
3. Let go of our pain.  Hanging on to it or stuffing it is denial. An acronym for denial is:

    Don't
    Even
    Notice
    I
    Am
    Lying.

     Instead, we want to come to terms with reality.  There are many things we can do:
  a.  Exercise---get the emotions out somatically, out of our body. Cycle, jump rope, hike, go to the beach, row, get in your car,  roll up your windows and scream are some ways of letting it out.
 b.  Do a rock funeral.
       Go to a body of water and throw rock into it, while yelling out what disturbs or angers us.  Examples would be, "I hate how you (whoever is the offender is) treated me!" Another might be, "I cannot stand your judgments!" You get the idea.
c. Listen to soothing music.
4. See what steps we can take next, to remedy our situation.
    a.  It may be asking someone to move out, or we move out.
    b.  We may need to journal out our pain.
       Most emotionally resilient people write. It produces clarity and it helps us to empty out disturbing emotions that percolate within.
    c.  We may use nonviolent communication, letting the other person know what we want, and feel.

5. Be gentle towards ourself.  As the quote to the left mentions, kicking ourselves does not help.

*****

       Recently, over a period of months, I was misled.  This was painfully clear this weekend.  I was reminded of the steps above as I process having the roots of emotional stability yanked upon---violently shaken---Saturday.

     I've spent two days processing the sadness and disappointment that flooded my inner world after experiencing betrayal.  It's tough standing tall when my soul was nearly sucked from me.  That it was by the hand of someone nice and kind, makes the pain sharper.

        Something else hindered my soul from standing erect.  The knife of regret stabbed the legs of my soul, making them throb.  The damage won't heal soon.  

        Such is life and its learning curve.

*****

       An amazing conversation last week was a carnival of experiences.  Lovers Lane, the Hall of Horrors, and a disorienting fun house, filled with the distorted mirrors of self-delusion, were visited.  An adrenaline producing ride on the roller coaster of emotions took place, too.  If I told you the length of our visit, you wouldn't believe me.  

       Okay, it was ten hours.  Non-stop.

       During this carnival visit I asserted boundaries. This was my most difficult time, ever, of remaining true to principles.  I was strongly seduced to yield to temptation--overlooking boundaries that maintain my sanity, serenity and confidence.  

       I tried deceiving myself that happiness would be mine, if I surrendered.  But, my recovery has taught me the happiness would be temporary.  It would have trampled my values and long-term well-being.

       I haven't a clue what this new year will bring.  But, I know it will be good.  Each year, for the past thirteen, have been better than the previous.  

      This year will be the same.

Gratitudes:
1.  Surviving an assault on my emotional well-being.   I am in shock, but not depressed---that may come later. (I jest, I think.)
2.  I didn't busy myself with activity, after coming to terms with being misled.  That would have prevented me from feeling the enormity of my emotions.
3.  I value the sanity I have because I enjoy balance in my life.
4.  I look forward to asserting myself tomorrow.  There has been a hiccup about some plans I have made.  I need to talk with someone and clear that up.

How About You?
What do you do, to take care of yourself, when you feel sucker punched, emotionally?